Owen Crowlie

Fearful Rick Moranis Unable to Back Out of Contract That Allows Disney to Really Shrink Him

LOS ANGELES — In a twist that has put his return to movies into troubling context, beloved 80’s and 90’s…

4 years ago

Hello Fellow Japanimation Fans! I Have Some Content for You!

Konnichiwa, minna-san! Netflix Producer-Chan here. I have some very sugoi news that I wanted to tell you about myself personally,…

4 years ago

My List of 45 Things Gay Character Needs In Order for Me to Think They’re Necessary

Thanks to the virtue signaling politics of Hollywood, it seems that gays in modern media are harder to avoid than…

4 years ago

Fans Upset ‘The Last of Us Part II’ Leaks are Not Exclusive to PlayStation Owners

SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Fans of the series were shocked today when a plethora of The Last Of Us II…

5 years ago

Opinion: You’re Fucking Mafia, Dude

Listen, we’ve all gotten to know each other pretty well since college orientation started, and you seem like a really…

5 years ago

Opinion: You’re Fucking Moron If You Really Believe the Xbox Series X Will Be Big Enough to Hold 6 Teraflops

Don’t let yourself get suckered by all that fancy talk Microsoft is blowing up your ass. There’s just no way…

5 years ago

AI Programmed to Play ‘Fallout 76’ Has Learned to Ask for Different Game

BERKELY, Calif. — After six weeks of playing Fallout 76, an artificial intelligence affectionately nicknamed “Master” reportedly taught itself how…

5 years ago

Larger Thug Feels Pressure to Take On Leadership Position

RIVER CITY— Local gangster Antonio Russo continues to work a low level thug position despite pressures from higher ranking goons…

5 years ago

UBI to Be Distributed Over Daily Login Bonus on Whitehouse.gov

WASHINGTON — In order to streamline distribution, sources are reporting that Universal Basic Income will be distributed to Americans via…

5 years ago