Neil Floyd

Neil Floyd

Let’s Get This Over With: Yes, My Tailpipe Is My AssholeLet’s Get This Over With: Yes, My Tailpipe Is My Asshole

Let’s Get This Over With: Yes, My Tailpipe Is My Asshole

Greetings, humans and other sentient creatures of Earth. It is I, Optimus Prime, leader of the heroic Autobots and sworn…

6 years ago
Christian Bale Gains 450,000 Pounds to Play Sandworm in ‘Dune’ RemakeChristian Bale Gains 450,000 Pounds to Play Sandworm in ‘Dune’ Remake

Christian Bale Gains 450,000 Pounds to Play Sandworm in ‘Dune’ Remake

TUNIS, Tunisia — Christian Bale, an actor known for dramatic transformations, has gained over 450,000 pounds to play a sandworm…

6 years ago
Game Heartbroken After Realizing You Were Only Playing Because of Free Trial WeekendGame Heartbroken After Realizing You Were Only Playing Because of Free Trial Weekend

Game Heartbroken After Realizing You Were Only Playing Because of Free Trial Weekend

SIOUX FALLS — Indie battle royale Fear the Wolves was reportedly heartbroken after it realized you were only playing for…

6 years ago
Civilization VI Player Weighing Foreign Policy Decisions More Heavily Than Actual Leader of United StatesCivilization VI Player Weighing Foreign Policy Decisions More Heavily Than Actual Leader of United States

Civilization VI Player Weighing Foreign Policy Decisions More Heavily Than Actual Leader of United States

PHILADELPHIA – Local gamer Jamie Stanfield was shocked when she realized 11 months into a marathon-speed playthrough of Civilization VI…

6 years ago
Trump Drops Surprise Announcement of New 325 Million-Player Battle RoyaleTrump Drops Surprise Announcement of New 325 Million-Player Battle Royale

Trump Drops Surprise Announcement of New 325 Million-Player Battle Royale

WASHINGTON — President Trump shocked the nation today when he unveiled a new plan which pits 325 million Americans in…

6 years ago
Democrats in Disarray After President Trump Tweets That US Constitution Isn’t CanonDemocrats in Disarray After President Trump Tweets That US Constitution Isn’t Canon

Democrats in Disarray After President Trump Tweets That US Constitution Isn’t Canon

WASHINGTON — The newly-emboldened Democratic Party is in disarray today after President Trump announced on social media that the United…

6 years ago
Woman Disappointed Her Date Doesn’t Look Anything Like His CutscenesWoman Disappointed Her Date Doesn’t Look Anything Like His Cutscenes

Woman Disappointed Her Date Doesn’t Look Anything Like His Cutscenes

CHICAGO — Kate Patterson was reportedly disappointed Saturday when her date arrived two hours late and had the gall to…

6 years ago
Incredibly Lucky D&D Player Skyping In Has Rolled 7 Nat 20s in a RowIncredibly Lucky D&D Player Skyping In Has Rolled 7 Nat 20s in a Row

Incredibly Lucky D&D Player Skyping In Has Rolled 7 Nat 20s in Row

LAKE GENEVA, Wisc. — The tenth session of a small Dungeons & Dragons game took a turn when Greg Atkinson,…

6 years ago
RANKED: The Top 1 Giant Space Worms in Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes BackRANKED: The Top 1 Giant Space Worms in Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

RANKED: The Top 1 Giant Space Worms in Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

The Star Wars fandom is full of debates. Did Han or Greedo shoot first? Are Ewoks cute or annoying kid…

7 years ago