May 18, 2018 GameFly Announces They Are Still Here GameFly Announces They Are Still Here LOS ANGELES — In a press conference outside the building they allegedly work out of, GameFly executives announced that they are, in fact, still operating…
May 9, 2018 Anthropologists Interview Last Man Who Remembers Good Star Fox Game Anthropologists Interview Last Man Who Remembers Good Star Fox Game AMAZON RAINFOREST, Brazil — In a stunning development, researchers discovered and were able to document the recollections of what anthropologists believe to be the last…
April 25, 2018 Amazon Acquires Hasbro to Become Exclusive Seller of Monopoly Amazon Acquires Hasbro to Become Exclusive Seller of Monopoly SEATTLE — In a move widely expected by the industry, Amazon has acquired the board game giant Hasbro with the intention of being the singular…
April 17, 2018 Recently Divorced Man Flicks Metaphorical Cigarette into Gasoline by Buying Magic the Gathering Starter Pack Recently Divorced Man Flicks Metaphorical Cigarette into Gasoline by Buying Magic the Gathering Starter Pack NANTICOKE, Pa. — After going through an arduous divorce, horrified witnesses reported that local resident Andrew Stone said “fuck it” under his breath to himself…
April 11, 2018 Niantic Adds 23 New Players to Pokémon Go Niantic Adds 23 New Players to Pokémon Go SAN FRANCISCO — In a move sure to delight longtime fans of the mobile game, Niantic announced that it would be adding twenty-three new players…
March 22, 2018 Man Who Invested Early in Bitcoin Wishes He Had Friends to Spend The Money With Man Who Invested Early in Bitcoin Wishes He Had Friends to Spend The Money With GLEN ROCK, N.J. — After cashing in the hundreds of Bitcoin he had bought in 2008, newly minted millionaire Steven Profaci lamented the fact he…
March 6, 2018 Fortnite Player in Top Ten Without Killing Anyone Unsure if This Counts as Fun Fortnite Player in Top Ten Without Killing Anyone Unsure if This Counts as Fun BALTIMORE — After not seeing a single player for the first twenty minutes of a Fortnite match, thereby making it into the top ten, Jordan…
February 10, 2018 Early Access Game About Depression Abandoned by Creator Early Access Game About Depression Abandoned by Creator WILKES-BARRE, Pa. — Michelle Avery, creator of “The Sadness Trials,” announced today she would no longer be working on her indie game that would explore…
January 28, 2018 Overworked and Underpaid Game Developer Being Told to Kill Himself Considering It Overworked and Underpaid Game Developer Being Told to Kill Himself Considering It SAN DIEGO — After enduring two months of crunch time coding, game developer Jason Hammond is seriously considering a fan’s request that he shoot himself…
