June 24, 2021 Man Explains Unnoticed Absence From Social Media Man Explains Unnoticed Absence From Social Media DETROIT — Social media user Jerry Clay has reportedly taken to Facebook to explain his online hiatus that none of their followers were aware had…
June 23, 2021 Rich People Greenlight 14 New Shows About Poor People Rich People Greenlight 14 New Shows About Poor People LOS ANGELES — The wealthy owners of the most popular television networks and streaming services have previewed their fall slate of new shows, and among…
June 18, 2021 Breath of the Wild 2 Trailer Pleases Fans for Nearly a Whole Afternoon Breath of the Wild 2 Trailer Pleases Fans for Nearly a Whole Afternoon KYOTO, Japan — The recent premiere of footage from the highly anticipated Breath of the Wild 2 entry in the Legend of Zelda series reportedly…
May 17, 2021 IGN Premieres New Mario Golf Trailer, Reminding Readers It Supports Mario and Bowser Equally IGN Premieres New Mario Golf Trailer, Reminding Readers It Supports Mario and Bowser Equally SAN FRANCISCO — Video game website IGN has reportedly taken down a post made early this morning featuring new footage from Nintendo’s upcoming Mario Golf:…
May 11, 2021 Newest Weird Jeff Goldblum Commercial Not Even an Ad for Anything Newest Weird Jeff Goldblum Commercial Not Even an Ad for Anything LOS ANGELES — A national thirty second television spot featuring iconic actor Jeff Goldblum does not appear to actually be spreading awareness of any brand…
April 15, 2021 We Ranked Every Mega Man Game and Still Feel Nothing We Ranked Every Mega Man Game and Still Feel Nothing After a blurry year of stories, reviews, and just constantly having to be fucking learning about some bullshit, I thought this assignment to rank every…
April 1, 2021 Unhinged Zack Snyder Releases Four Hour Cut of Tenet Unhinged Zack Snyder Releases Four Hour Cut of Tenet LOS ANGELES — Following the long awaited release of his highly anticipated extended cut of Justice League, a hubristic Zack Snyder has now released an…
March 25, 2021 Increasingly Loud PS4 Sprouts Propeller and Flies Away Increasingly Loud PS4 Sprouts Propeller and Flies Away TUCSON, Ariz. — A seven year old PlayStation 4 that has been making more and more noise has reportedly grown a propeller and engine system…
February 26, 2021 Mortal Kombat Fan Pissed Robocop Isn’t in the Movie Mortal Kombat Fan Pissed Robocop Isn’t in the Movie APACHE JUNCTION, Ariz. — A self proclaimed superfan of the Mortal Kombat video game series was reportedly livid after discovering that the upcoming film adaptation…
