Mark Roebuck

Paramount Urges Teens Not to Try Watching New Jackass Movie at Home

LOS ANGELES — Paramount executives have issued a disclaimer surrounding their upcoming sequel Jackass Forever urging fans of the franchise…

3 years ago

New Batman Prequel to Focus on Bruce Wayne’s Parents Getting Really Into Theatre

LOS ANGELES — With the Caped Crusader’s latest cinematic reimagining, The Batman, hitting theaters next month, Warner Bros. has announced…

3 years ago

What Does the Sony/Bungie Deal Mean for Me, Weird Guy Who Still Just Plays Geometry Wars?

Hello gamer! I’m sure you’ve heard the big news of the day. Following Microsoft’s acquisition of Bethesda for a zillion…

3 years ago

Experts Predict That Weapon Drop Is Coming Any Minute Now

THE SHRINKING ZONE OF SAFETY — A group of scientists has posited a theory that not only is our civilization…

3 years ago

River City Police Finally Take Down High Profile Girlfriend Kidnapping Ring

RIVER CITY — Local police believe they have finally thwarted the crime ring that has seen dozens of local high…

3 years ago

HBO’s ‘Sad People Fuck’ Renewed for Second Season

NEW YORK — Last fall’s breakthrough hit Sad People Fuck has been renewed by HBO for a second season to…

3 years ago

Link Refuses to Talk to Police About Robbery He Witnessed

KAKARIKO VILLAGE — Local folk hero and adventurer Link has garnered the support of his community after refusing to speak…

3 years ago

Wario64 Tweets Disturbing Link to Affordable Craigslist Hitman

SAN FRANCISCO — Popular video game deal aggregator Twitter account Wario64 has linked to their most disturbing sale yet: a…

3 years ago

Rockstar Updates Red Dead Online to Include Tumbleweeds Blowing Through Abandoned Servers

NEW YORK — Rockstar Games has answered fans’ pleas and finally made a substantial addition to its Red Dead Online…

3 years ago