June 21, 2020 Tense, Grim, and Violent: Our Review of ‘The Last Of Us Part 2’ Discourse Tense, Grim, and Violent: Our Review of ‘The Last Of Us Part 2’ Discourse Navigating the discourse surrounding highly anticipated video games, much like the apocalypse, is a constant struggle for survival. Discussion about the original The Last of…
June 19, 2020 Embarrassed Scorsese Admits ‘Gangs of New York’ Was Based on ‘Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War’ Embarrassed Scorsese Admits ‘Gangs of New York’ Was Based on ‘Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War’ NEW YORK — Putting his past remarks about the legitimacy of Marvel movies and the nerd culture boom into new context, an embarrassed Martin Scorcese…
June 17, 2020 Girlfriend Really Dragging Her Feet in Co-Op Game She’s Being Forced to Play Girlfriend Really Dragging Her Feet in Co-Op Game She’s Being Forced to Play BROCKTON, Mass. — Noting the fact that she keeps falling behind to the edge of the screen and dying repeatedly, local gamer Tyler Benson says that…
June 16, 2020 Nintendo Leaks Worsen as Hackers Reveal Shigeru Miyamoto’s Entire DNA Sequence Nintendo Leaks Worsen as Hackers Reveal Shigeru Miyamoto’s Entire DNA Sequence KYOTO, Japan — After suffering a string of damaging data breaches and leaked trade secrets such as hardware specs and console operating system code, Nintendo announced…
June 11, 2020 Exhausted Characters in Game Demo Can’t Keep Up With Quick PS5 Loading Times Exhausted Characters in Game Demo Can’t Keep Up With Quick PS5 Loading Times SAN MATEO, Calif. — Due to the impressive power of the forthcoming console’s custom SSD and 10-teraflop GPU, beloved game characters Ratchet and Clank reportedly…
June 7, 2020 Happy Mask Salesman Immediately Sells Out Entire Stock of N95 Deku Masks Happy Mask Salesman Immediately Sells Out Entire Stock of N95 Deku Masks CLOCK TOWN — Selling out his entire inventory after five minutes of announcing a restock, the Happy Mask Salesman announced to disappointed customers that his N95…
May 13, 2020 It Gets Worse: New Report Reveals Michael Jackson’s Sonic 3 Soundtrack Was Also Arranged by OJ Simpson It Gets Worse: New Report Reveals Michael Jackson’s Sonic 3 Soundtrack Was Also Arranged by OJ Simpson Fans of Sega’s iconic blue hedgehog have been wondering for years why the company has stopped distributing 1994’s Sonic the Hedgehog 3 on digital platforms…
May 12, 2020 Activision: ‘Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3’ Remake Not Coming Until Consoles Can Render Bam Margera In Full Detail Activision: ‘Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3’ Remake Not Coming Until Consoles Can Render Bam Margera In Full Detail SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Promising that they would release a definitive version of the 2001 classic as soon as modern processors are able to catch…
May 10, 2020 Apparently the Only Way to Get a ‘Valorant’ Key Now Is to Click On This Article Apparently the Only Way to Get a ‘Valorant’ Key Now Is to Click On This Article LOS ANGELES — In a totally surprising turn of events that we’re just as surprised about as you are, Riot Games has announced that apparently…
