November 12, 2020 CDC Warns of Contagious Brain Parasite That Convinces People Buying a Gaming Chair Is a Good Idea CDC Warns of Contagious Brain Parasite That Convinces People Buying a Gaming Chair Is a Good Idea ATLANTA — Warning that the spread of the new threat would only add further strain to the ongoing global health crisis, virologists at the CDC…
November 10, 2020 Reddit User Reports Vile, Horrifying Image for Being a Repost Reddit User Reports Vile, Horrifying Image for Being a Repost COLUMBUS, Ohio — Physically recoiling at the offensive post currently visible on his screen, longtime Reddit user Derek Lefferts flagged and reported a vile, horrifying…
November 9, 2020 358/2 Reasons You Should Play the ‘Kingdom Hearts’ Series 358/2 Reasons You Should Play the ‘Kingdom Hearts’ Series Disney and Square Enix’s whimsical JRPG phenomenon, Kingdom Hearts, may be daunting to newcomers despite its longtime popularity. Each installment of the series adds countless…
October 14, 2020 Gamer Pokes Head Back Into Smash Bros. Ultimate to Play Exactly One Match as Steve Gamer Pokes Head Back Into Smash Bros. Ultimate to Play Exactly One Match as Steve NEW YORK — Local gamer Jesse Nunez excitedly turned on his Switch to download the latest software update for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate so that…
October 10, 2020 Lost Red Bull Car Ends Up in Military Parade Lost Red Bull Car Ends Up in Military Parade PYONGYANG — Confusing intelligence officials who initially mistook it as some unusual model of short-barrel tank, a Red Bull branded SUV reportedly found itself lost…
September 22, 2020 Geneticists Raise Ethical Questions After Successfully Creating Echo Fighter of Sheep Geneticists Raise Ethical Questions After Successfully Creating Echo Fighter of Sheep EDINBURGH, Scotland — In a huge scientific breakthrough that also raises many ethical questions, geneticists at the University of Edinburgh’s Roslin Institute announced yesterday that…
September 18, 2020 Mario Exhausted After Taking Massive Jump Mario Exhausted After Taking Massive Jump MUSHROOM KINGDOM — Onlookers were astonished earlier today as the mustachioed hero of the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario, collapsed in exhaustion after taking a massive jump…
September 11, 2020 Ubisoft Announces ‘Prince of Persia’ Remake in Effort to Rewind Time to Before They Fucked Up Ubisoft Announces ‘Prince of Persia’ Remake in Effort to Rewind Time to Before They Fucked Up MONTREUIL, France — As part of their UbiForward presentation showcasing their upcoming releases, French game developer Ubisoft announced that they’re currently working on an enhanced…
August 25, 2020 Game Not Nearly Difficult Enough to Justify This Many Power-Ups Game Not Nearly Difficult Enough to Justify This Many Power-Ups METHUEN, Mass. — Guessing that he could probably blow through the second half of the game without picking up a single accessory or stat modifier,…
