Kevin Flynn

Smithsonian Acquires Trap Card Used by Aaron Burr to Defeat Hamilton in Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel

WASHINGTON — The Smithsonian’s National Museum of American History announced this morning that they have acquired the original trap card…

6 years ago

Doctor Informs Knuckles That Those Are Actually Tumors on His Hands

STATION SQUARE — In a somber twist to an otherwise routine checkup, a doctor on call at Station Square Medical…

6 years ago

Digimon Having Rough Day Whispers to Himself He’s the Champion

THE DIGITAL WORLD — Trying to calm himself down after a really stressful day, the Insectoid Digimon Tentomon reportedly took…

6 years ago

Date Looks Nothing Like His Mii

BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Exasperated by the fact that she’d been misled by yet another exaggerated profile picture, sources say that…

6 years ago

Sonic Team Insulted Movie Director Would Do Something So Pathetic as Respond to Fan Feedback

TOKYO — In a press conference this morning tinged with disgust and shock, Sega’s Sonic Team told reporters that they…

6 years ago

Review: ‘Avengers: Endgame’ is Mesmerizing Experience That Nearly Made Me Forget My Recurring Fear of a Movie Theater Shooting

The current phase of Marvel Cinematic Universe is coming to an end. With the upcoming Avengers: Endgame concluding an epic…

6 years ago

‘Alas, This Brings to Me No Comfort,’ Sighs Kirby After Winning 4,352nd Eating Contest in Row

DREAM LAND — After coming in first place in an unprecedented 4,352nd eating contest in a row, the hero of…

6 years ago

Switch Owner With No Other Technology Desperately Hoping Nintendo Announces Netflix Support

KENOSHA, Wisc. — Nintendo Switch owner Kyle Goulet said today that he is desperately hoping Nintendo will announce Netflix support…

6 years ago

Purist Surgeon Refuses to Operate Surgery Robot With Anything but GameCube Controller

BOSTON — Explaining that newer controllers don’t quite provide the same comfort or familiarity, surgeon Dr. Frank Powell said this…

6 years ago