January 20, 2022 Castlevania Millennial Worried They Will Never Own a House With a Second Upside Down House Under It Castlevania Millennial Worried They Will Never Own a House With a Second Upside Down House Under It WALLACHIA, Romania — Local millennial Daniel Balan, 32, is reportedly fed up with the state of the world and worries that he will never be…
January 4, 2022 Late Night Trip to Fridge Derailed By Enemy Who Wasn’t There During Daytime Late Night Trip to Fridge Derailed By Enemy Who Wasn’t There During Daytime TOLUCA LAKE, Calif. — After moving to a new home and before learning its spawn points, local woman Janice Dramps was accosted in her kitchen…
December 30, 2021 Gamer Lying About Going To High School Prom Describes Dance Scene From Final Fantasy 8 Gamer Lying About Going To High School Prom Describes Dance Scene From Final Fantasy 8 MAUMEE, Ohio — Local gamer Tyler Wozen, while trying to impress a date with his experiences in high school, lied about his senior prom by…
November 25, 2021 Geno’s Aunt at Thanksgiving Keeps Suggesting He Apply to Be in ‘Smash Bros’ Geno’s Aunt at Thanksgiving Keeps Suggesting He Apply to Be in ‘Smash Bros’ STAR ROAD — Super Mario RPG character Geno, also known as ♡♪!?, had a reportedly frustrating conversation with his aunt Gina this Thanksgiving after she…
October 29, 2021 New Animal Crossing Update Includes Fatalities New Animal Crossing Update Includes Fatalities TOKYO — Nintendo announced today in a surprise Direct that they are adding even more features to Animal Crossing: New Horizon, including gore-filled Fatalities. According…
October 14, 2021 Guy Stuck in ‘Groundhog Day’ Style Time Loop Finally Has Time to Watch All Those ‘Groundhog Day’ Style Time Loop Movies Guy Stuck in ‘Groundhog Day’ Style Time Loop Finally Has Time to Watch All Those ‘Groundhog Day’ Style Time Loop Movies PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. — Local man Carson Greevers, who has been stuck in a time loop for an indiscernible amount of time, is finally getting around…
August 24, 2021 Fortnite to Host Comedy Show With 200-Foot-Tall Pete Davidson Fortnite to Host Comedy Show With 200-Foot-Tall Pete Davidson CARY, N.C. — After the success of a recent in-game performance by Ariana Grande, Epic Games announced that the next premier Fortnite event will be…
August 14, 2021 Gamer Working Through Backlog Amazed How Good Pong Is Gamer Working Through Backlog Amazed How Good Pong Is LAREDO, Texas — While playing through his gaming backlog on Twitch, professional streamer Duncan Clyde was surprised to find out how good Pong is. “Like…
August 11, 2021 Local Blacksmith Gives Quest to Go See His Band at the Tavern Tonight Local Blacksmith Gives Quest to Go See His Band at the Tavern Tonight INTREPID ISLE, Midgard — Blacksmith Angus Krant issued a quest this morning for all adventures that visit his stall: stay in town and watch his…
