John Dixon

Huge Star Wars Fan Meets Mortal Enemy, Other Huge Star Wars Fan

DECATUR, Ga. — Local Star Wars superfan John Aaronson, 38, recently encountered his arch nemesis: a fellow Star Wars superfan…

5 years ago

Manga on Hiatus After Artist Takes Bathroom Break

TOKYO — Popular manga Brave Fighter’s Journey was recently put on hiatus by its publisher as writer and artist Okobo…

5 years ago

Everyone Wishes Man Would Stop Using Tongue to Twirl Control Stick in Mario Party

DENVER — A group of friends is appalled over one member’s insistence on using his tongue to spin the control…

5 years ago

Man Yearning For ‘Good Old Days’ Mostly Yearning for Bionicle

MILWAUKEE — Nostalgic 26-year-old James Crawford claims he spent his week reminiscing about the halcyon days of 2001, though sources…

5 years ago

So-Called Pianist Doesn’t Even Know Any Castlevania Songs

BOSTON — The musical credentials of Berklee College of Music-trained pianist Bryan Adkins were called into question after it was…

5 years ago

God Damn It: Fantasy Novel Has Bunch of Songs in It

CHARLESTON, S.C. — Horrified readers across the nation are reporting highly anticipated fantasy novel Obelisk of Dawn is packed with…

5 years ago

Dungeon Master Really Wishes Player Wouldn’t Swish Dice in Their Mouth Before Every Roll

GREENVILLE, S.C. — A local Dungeons and Dragons group is being torn apart by player Martin Bellamy’s insistence on swishing…

5 years ago

Epic Games Store Exclusivity to Come With Free Witness Protection for Developers

CARY, N.C. — Following recent developments with Ooblets and other titles, Epic Games have announced a change to their exclusivity…

5 years ago

Opinion: Actually You Can Leave Out Few Pokémon, It’s Fine

Alright, Game Freak: what the fuck do you think you are doing not bringing the National Dex to Pokémon Sword…

5 years ago