John Dixon

John Dixon

Huge Star Wars Fan Meets Mortal Enemy, Other Huge Star Wars FanHuge Star Wars Fan Meets Mortal Enemy, Other Huge Star Wars Fan

Huge Star Wars Fan Meets Mortal Enemy, Other Huge Star Wars Fan

DECATUR, Ga. — Local Star Wars superfan John Aaronson, 38, recently encountered his arch nemesis: a fellow Star Wars superfan…

5 years ago
Manga on Hiatus After Artist Takes Bathroom BreakManga on Hiatus After Artist Takes Bathroom Break

Manga on Hiatus After Artist Takes Bathroom Break

TOKYO — Popular manga Brave Fighter’s Journey was recently put on hiatus by its publisher as writer and artist Okobo…

5 years ago
Everyone Wishes Man Would Stop Using Tongue to Twirl Control Stick in Mario PartyEveryone Wishes Man Would Stop Using Tongue to Twirl Control Stick in Mario Party

Everyone Wishes Man Would Stop Using Tongue to Twirl Control Stick in Mario Party

DENVER — A group of friends is appalled over one member’s insistence on using his tongue to spin the control…

6 years ago
Man Yearning For ‘Good Old Days’ Mostly Yearning for BionicleMan Yearning For ‘Good Old Days’ Mostly Yearning for Bionicle

Man Yearning For ‘Good Old Days’ Mostly Yearning for Bionicle

MILWAUKEE — Nostalgic 26-year-old James Crawford claims he spent his week reminiscing about the halcyon days of 2001, though sources…

6 years ago
So-Called Pianist Doesn’t Even Know Any Castlevania SongsSo-Called Pianist Doesn’t Even Know Any Castlevania Songs

So-Called Pianist Doesn’t Even Know Any Castlevania Songs

BOSTON — The musical credentials of Berklee College of Music-trained pianist Bryan Adkins were called into question after it was…

6 years ago
God Damn It: Fantasy Novel Has a Bunch of Songs in ItGod Damn It: Fantasy Novel Has a Bunch of Songs in It

God Damn It: Fantasy Novel Has Bunch of Songs in It

CHARLESTON, S.C. — Horrified readers across the nation are reporting highly anticipated fantasy novel Obelisk of Dawn is packed with…

6 years ago
Dungeon Master Really Wishes Player Wouldn’t Swish Dice in Their Mouth Before Every RollDungeon Master Really Wishes Player Wouldn’t Swish Dice in Their Mouth Before Every Roll

Dungeon Master Really Wishes Player Wouldn’t Swish Dice in Their Mouth Before Every Roll

GREENVILLE, S.C. — A local Dungeons and Dragons group is being torn apart by player Martin Bellamy’s insistence on swishing…

6 years ago
Epic Games Store Exclusivity to Come With Free Witness Protection for DevelopersEpic Games Store Exclusivity to Come With Free Witness Protection for Developers

Epic Games Store Exclusivity to Come With Free Witness Protection for Developers

CARY, N.C. — Following recent developments with Ooblets and other titles, Epic Games have announced a change to their exclusivity…

6 years ago
Opinion: Actually You Can Leave Out a Few Pokémon, It’s FineOpinion: Actually You Can Leave Out a Few Pokémon, It’s Fine

Opinion: Actually You Can Leave Out Few Pokémon, It’s Fine

Alright, Game Freak: what the fuck do you think you are doing not bringing the National Dex to Pokémon Sword…

6 years ago