November 27, 2021 Nintendo Quietly Shelves ‘Pokémon Blood Diamond’ Nintendo Quietly Shelves ‘Pokémon Blood Diamond’ REDMOND, Wash. — Following lengthy internal discussions and massive volumes of fan feedback, Nintendo and Game Freak came to the decision to shelve the forthcoming…
May 23, 2021 D&D Player Fails Stealth Check for Fart at Table D&D Player Fails Stealth Check for Fart at Table WEATHERFORD, Okla. — A local tabletop roleplaying group is in disarray after player Joel Robinson failed the stealth check necessary to conceal the rancid fart…
February 11, 2021 Mobile Gamer Discovers 16-Digit Cheat Code Mobile Gamer Discovers 16-Digit Cheat Code HARTFORD, Conn. — Local mobile gamer Jeremy Jackson has drastically improved his performance in gacha game Legend of the Bravest Heroes by discovering a very…
November 19, 2020 Anime Hero Assures Dentist He’ll Stop Carrying Sword in Mouth Anime Hero Assures Dentist He’ll Stop Carrying Sword in Mouth THE GRAND LINE — Legendary swordsman and anime hero Roronoa Zoro is on the search for a new fighting style after being forced to promise…
October 28, 2020 PlayStation Owner Wondering When Sony Is Going to Send Him All Those Trophies PlayStation Owner Wondering When Sony Is Going to Send Him All Those Trophies CARRBORO, N.C. — A local gamer is on the warpath against Sony as, after six years, he has yet to receive a single physical PlayStation…
September 27, 2020 Podcaster Undergoes Risky Surgery to be Able to Naturally Speak at 1.5x Speed Podcaster Undergoes Risky Surgery to be Able to Naturally Speak at 1.5x Speed SANDY, Utah — Local podcast host James Brandt recently underwent a risky surgery to speed up his voice to 1.5x its speed in an attempt…
September 22, 2020 Loser Spends Three Years Earning Master’s Degree When He Could’ve Been Writing a Sick D&D Campaign Loser Spends Three Years Earning Master’s Degree When He Could’ve Been Writing a Sick D&D Campaign RALEIGH, N.C. — A local graduate’s Masters of Fine Arts degree was tainted by the realization the past three years could have been spent crafting…
May 16, 2020 Man Sets Unrealistic Fitness Goal of Looking Good in Switch Screen Reflection Man Sets Unrealistic Fitness Goal of Looking Good in Switch Screen Reflection CAYCE, S.C. — Local gamer James Larson recently announced his wildly unrealistic fitness goal of looking good in the reflection of his Switch screen. “I’m…
May 6, 2020 Quarantined Gamer Dangerously Close to Finishing Game Quarantined Gamer Dangerously Close to Finishing Game RESTON, Va. — With America approaching a third month of quarantine due to COVID-19, gamer James Batson is reportedly battling a rare challenge: he is…
