Joe Tilleli

Agent 47 Grateful All of Humanity Wears 34” Inseam

ICA FACILITY (LOCATION UNKNOWN) — Agent 47, professional assassin, expressed great relief today at the cold hard fact that every…

4 years ago

Democrats Plead President Trump to Use #Ad When Promoting Private Businesses

WASHINGTON — Democrats in Congress have urged the President Donald Trump to include the hashtag “#Ad” when promoting any private…

4 years ago

Fed Up Boyfriend Downloading Overcooked Knows Exactly What He’s Doing

CHICAGO — 27-year-old Jimmy Pryor downloaded the popular party game Overcooked 2 onto his Nintendo Switch which he shares with…

4 years ago

D&D Party Prepares for Yet Another Battle With How Much Their DM Sucks

BOULDER, Colo. —  A group of friends playing Dungeons & Dragons faced yet another encounter with the most difficult recurring…

4 years ago

‘Community’ Virtual Table Read Loses Most Cast Members Part Way Through

LOS ANGELES — The cast of the cult hit sitcom Community surprised fans this week with a reunion over Zoom,…

5 years ago

‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’ Pros Demand Rock Nerfed

MIAMI — Controversy has recently erupted in the Rock, Paper, Scissors pro circuit as a subset of players are now insisting…

5 years ago

Eccentric Zoo Owner Insists There’s Nothing Unethical About Owning Big the Cat

WYNNEWOOD, Okla. — Local Big the Cat owner and G.W. Zoo founder, Joe Exotic, insists that there is absolutely nothing…

5 years ago

Final Fantasy VII Remake’s Easy Mode Is Way Too Easy and Its Hard Mode Is Way Too Hard

Once upon a time there was a game called Final Fantasy VII Remake. I booted up the game and saw…

5 years ago

Gamer Kicked Out of Louvre for Trying to Jump Into Mona Lisa World

PARIS — Panic broke out within the Louvre earlier this week when a tourist attempted to launch himself over the…

5 years ago