Jimmy Beliakoff

Jimmy Beliakoff

Report: Valve Employees Working Grueling 100-Hour Work Weeks On NothingReport: Valve Employees Working Grueling 100-Hour Work Weeks On Nothing

Report: Valve Employees Working Grueling 100-Hour Work Weeks On Nothing

BELLEVUE, Wash. — According to anonymous sources within the company, employees at Valve Software have been working grueling 100-hour work…

5 years ago
42-Year-Old Restaurant Manager Beginning to Realize This Is, In Fact, His Final Form42-Year-Old Restaurant Manager Beginning to Realize This Is, In Fact, His Final Form

42-Year-Old Restaurant Manager Beginning to Realize This Is, In Fact, His Final Form

BREA, Calif. — After a tense standoff with some customers around closing time, it became clear to local Olive Garden…

5 years ago
Dungeon Master Increases Puzzle’s Difficulty by Describing It ShittilyDungeon Master Increases Puzzle’s Difficulty by Describing It Shittily

Dungeon Master Increases Puzzle’s Difficulty by Describing It Shittily

SILVERTON, Ore. — In a groundbreaking move to combat his players’ adeptness at solving riddles and subverting challenges, local dungeon…

5 years ago
Game Critic Stands Perfectly Still to Avoid Naughty Dog PR Representative Attempting to Echolocate ThemGame Critic Stands Perfectly Still to Avoid Naughty Dog PR Representative Attempting to Echolocate Them

Game Critic Stands Perfectly Still to Avoid Naughty Dog PR Representative Attempting to Echolocate Them

NEW YORK — While on a trip to the grocery store to restock for quarantine, games journalist Benny Kleiner had…

5 years ago
Ash Ketchum’s Mom Doesn’t Have the Heart to Tell Him His Original Pikachu Died 6 Years AgoAsh Ketchum’s Mom Doesn’t Have the Heart to Tell Him His Original Pikachu Died 6 Years Ago

Ash Ketchum’s Mom Doesn’t Have the Heart to Tell Him His Original Pikachu Died 6 Years Ago

KANTO — Local mother Delia Ketchum reportedly doesn’t have the heart to tell her son Ash that his beloved Pikachu…

5 years ago
Amidst Pandemic, Naughty Dog Allows Employees to Sleep at HomeAmidst Pandemic, Naughty Dog Allows Employees to Sleep at Home

Amidst Pandemic, Naughty Dog Allows Employees to Sleep at Home

SANTA MONICA, Calif. — With the continuing spread of the COVID-19 pandemic and nonessential businesses being asked to send workers…

5 years ago
Steam Friend You Don’t Remember Adding Is Playing Morrowind AgainSteam Friend You Don’t Remember Adding Is Playing Morrowind Again

Steam Friend You Don’t Remember Adding Is Playing Morrowind Again

SAN DIEGO — While waiting for members of his Monster Hunter group to gather up early yesterday evening, local gamer…

5 years ago
All Healing Items Spent During Boss Fight Player Is Required to LoseAll Healing Items Spent During Boss Fight Player Is Required to Lose

All Healing Items Spent During Boss Fight Player Is Required to Lose

LONDON — Police were called to the scene of a disturbance in the early hours of this morning, as Chris…

5 years ago
Novelty Zelda Wallet Only Holds a Maximum of $99Novelty Zelda Wallet Only Holds a Maximum of $99

Novelty Zelda Wallet Only Holds Maximum of $99

NEW YORK — Upon returning from a shopping trip to the Rockefeller Center Nintendo shop, gaming enthusiast Amy Weiss was…

5 years ago