September 22, 2021 End of an Era: Man Clicks “Update” Instead of “Remind Me Later” End of an Era: Man Clicks “Update” Instead of “Remind Me Later” PITTSBURGH — Putting to rest over 8 months of daily urging from his mobile phone, Jake Warner finally let his iPhone X update to the…
September 5, 2021 Video Game Physicists Propose Existence of Theoretical Third Jump Video Game Physicists Propose Existence of Theoretical Third Jump CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Physicists specializing in video game theory have now speculated that a third jump may in fact be possible, according to several new…
July 12, 2021 Gamer Backtracks Through Childhood Experiences to Find Nostalgia for Metroid Game Gamer Backtracks Through Childhood Experiences to Find Nostalgia for Metroid Game ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. — Local gamer Libbi Fisher is reportedly backtracking through the corridors of her childhood to find the nostalgia she has for the…
July 10, 2021 We Asked an AI to Watch 1,000 Hours of Classic Cinema and It Told Us, “Thanks! I Will Add It to the List Haha” We Asked an AI to Watch 1,000 Hours of Classic Cinema and It Told Us, “Thanks! I Will Add It to the List Haha” AI technology is constantly improving and it can even be kind of freaky seeing all of the cool things that computers can spit out with…
July 8, 2021 Man Working Remotely Drives Somewhere, Anywhere, Just to Listen to Podcast Man Working Remotely Drives Somewhere, Anywhere, Just to Listen to Podcast RENO, Nev. — Local remote worker Jeremiah Hills reportedly got into his car late last night and drove as far as he could, just so…
February 11, 2021 Innovative Star Wars Actress Becomes Hated for Something Other Than Being a Woman Innovative Star Wars Actress Becomes Hated for Something Other Than Being a Woman LOS ANGELES — The Mandalorian’s Gina Carano has broken new ground for Star Wars by becoming the first actress in the franchise to be hated…
December 21, 2020 Cyberpunk 2077 QA Team Horrified to Learn Game Has Already Released Cyberpunk 2077 QA Team Horrified to Learn Game Has Already Released WARSAW — After emerging from their offices for the first time in months following long hours crunching on Cyberpunk 2077, Quality Assurance team members of…
October 22, 2020 $1 Mobile App Better Change Buyer’s Life Forever at That Price $1 Mobile App Better Change Buyer’s Life Forever at That Price LOS ANGELES — Dave Gordon expressed skepticism at purchasing a $1 app on his phone unless it would bring lifelong, universal positive change to his…
October 6, 2020 All Cops Are Bastards Even If They Can Collect All Five COMBO Letters While Scoring 12,376,400 Points All Cops Are Bastards Even If They Can Collect All Five COMBO Letters While Scoring 12,376,400 Points Alright, listen up. I’ve heard of you bootlicking posers that have been asking if this or that person is excused from the rule that all…
