September 2, 2021 Uatu the Watcher Groans at Pop-Up Asking If He’s Still Watching Universe in Which Iron Man Gets Really Into Ska Music Uatu the Watcher Groans at Pop-Up Asking If He’s Still Watching Universe in Which Iron Man Gets Really Into Ska Music THE MULTIVERSE — Uatu the Watcher, the immortal omniscient being who observes the Multiverse from afar, reportedly groaned after receiving a pop-up asking if he’s…
September 2, 2021 Kotaku Advertisers Devastated to Learn That All Those Clicks They Got Were Actually From Angry People Kotaku Advertisers Devastated to Learn That All Those Clicks They Got Were Actually From Angry People NEW YORK — Advertisers displaying banners on the video game website Kotaku were reportedly devastated to learn that all the people who viewed their ads…
September 1, 2021 Splitgate Draws Influence From Halo and Portal for Gameplay, Pablo Picasso’s Nightmares for Menu System Splitgate Draws Influence From Halo and Portal for Gameplay, Pablo Picasso’s Nightmares for Menu System STANFORD, Calif. — 1047 Games developers explained today that their video game Splitgate draws influence from the Bungie Halo games as well as the Portal…
August 30, 2021 Marvel Universe Discovers Lead in Water Supply That Makes Population Overly Quippy Marvel Universe Discovers Lead in Water Supply That Makes Population Overly Quippy EARTH 199999 — Researchers living in the Marvel Cinematic Universe have discovered a mixture of chemicals in their water supply which makes the population say…
August 29, 2021 Report: The Teletubbies Have Gone Extinct Due to Intense Global Warming Now That the Sun Is an Adult Man Report: The Teletubbies Have Gone Extinct Due to Intense Global Warming Now That the Sun Is an Adult Man IDYLLIC MEADOW — A harrowing report from the home of the Teletubbies has confirmed that the species has died out as a result of their…
August 28, 2021 Gamer Absolutely Cannot Wait to Play 5 Hours of Elden Ring, Take a Week Off, and Give Up Forever Gamer Absolutely Cannot Wait to Play 5 Hours of Elden Ring, Take a Week Off, and Give Up Forever NEW YORK — Local gamer Thomas Roth is buzzing with excitement for FromSoftware’s Elden Ring to finally come out so that he can play it…
August 24, 2021 “No One’s Ever Really Gone,” Cackles Emperor Palpatine Over New Spider-Man Trailer “No One’s Ever Really Gone,” Cackles Emperor Palpatine Over New Spider-Man Trailer LOS ANGELES — A new trailer for Spider-Man: No Way Home was released today and features Emperor Palpatine’s voice saying “no one’s ever really gone”…
August 24, 2021 Confederate Flag Spotted in GeoGuesser Game Doesn’t Narrow Down Anything Confederate Flag Spotted in GeoGuesser Game Doesn’t Narrow Down Anything BINGHAMTON, N.Y. — Local gamer Brandon Farley was unable to narrow his location down further than the United States in a game of GeoGuessr after…
August 20, 2021 ‘Among Us’ Devs Hit Back With Third Person Shooter Battle Royale Mode ‘Among Us’ Devs Hit Back With Third Person Shooter Battle Royale Mode REDMOND, Wash. — Retaliating against Epic Games for its new Fortnite Impostor Mode, Innersloth hurriedly announced a new third person shooter battle royale mode for…
