March 18, 2020 Nation Comes Together In Time of Solidarity to Tolerate Playthrough of Jackbox Party Pack Nation Comes Together In Time of Solidarity to Tolerate Playthrough of Jackbox Party Pack WASHINGTON — Quarantined citizens around the country have reportedly come together in solidarity to tolerate playthroughs of various Jackbox Party Packs in an effort to…
March 17, 2020 Conan O’Brien Releases Yet Another Chapter in Despicable Anti-Gamer Propaganda Series Conan O’Brien Releases Yet Another Chapter in Despicable Anti-Gamer Propaganda Series LOS ANGELES — Comedian and talk show host Conan O’Brien has released another episode of his Clueless Gamer series, opening a new chapter in his…
March 16, 2020 J.J. Abrams Retcons Rian Johnson’s Name to ‘Ryan’ J.J. Abrams Retcons Rian Johnson’s Name to ‘Ryan’ LOS ANGELES — J.J. Abrams has collaborated with authors on a new novelization of Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker that expands the story of…
March 14, 2020 We Forced People at Comic Con to Look at Sonic Porn (And It Backfired) We Forced People at Comic Con to Look at Sonic Porn (And It Backfired) Written by Jeremy Kaplowitz, Giovanni Colantonio, Liam O’Malley, and Jeremy Hammond. Edited by Jeremy Kaplowitz Filmed by Giovanni Colantonio Starring Sonic the Hedgehog
March 14, 2020 Donald Trump Insists He Found Mew Under Truck in Pokémon Red Donald Trump Insists He Found Mew Under Truck in Pokémon Red WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump is being attacked by prominent Democrats today after he claimed he found Mew under a truck in his original playthrough…
March 13, 2020 Police Manhunt Underway for Man Who Didn’t Pay for WinRAR License After 40 Day Trial Police Manhunt Underway for Man Who Didn’t Pay for WinRAR License After 40 Day Trial FRESNO, Calif. — New police helicopter video shows the massive response to accused WinRAR License thief Michael Ramsey as fifteen squad cars chased him down…
March 12, 2020 Dr. Mario Stitches Up Three Goombas in a Stack for Horrifying ‘Goomba-Centipede’ Experiment Dr. Mario Stitches Up Three Goombas in a Stack for Horrifying ‘Goomba-Centipede’ Experiment MUSHROOM KINGDOM — The perverted Dr. Mario has disgraced the medical community once again after stitching together three goomba victims butthole-to-head in a vertical stack,…
March 10, 2020 CDC Puts Temporary Ban on Playing Assassin’s Creed II CDC Puts Temporary Ban on Playing Assassin’s Creed II WASHINGTON — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has placed a temporary ban on playing the game Assassin’s Creed II during the coronavirus outbreak…
March 10, 2020 Throwaway Reddit Account Does Nothing to Obscure User’s Identity Throwaway Reddit Account Does Nothing to Obscure User’s Identity MONTGOMERY, Ala. — Justin Curry’s post on Reddit’s r/relationship_advice under the username u/throwawaythekeys92 did absolutely nothing to hide his identity as a result of his…
