April 29, 2020 Opinion: If You’re a Supervillain, Cut It Out Opinion: If You’re a Supervillain, Cut It Out Supervillains — those with great power who use it for nefarious purposes — need a stern talking to. It’s time to stop. Your villainy has…
April 28, 2020 Community Applauds at 3 a.m. Every Day to Celebrate Gaming Heroes Who Don’t Go Outside Community Applauds at 3 a.m. Every Day to Celebrate Gaming Heroes Who Don’t Go Outside NEW YORK — The residents of New York City have begun applauding out their windows every single day at three in the morning to celebrate…
April 27, 2020 Tom Hooper Suggests Re-Releasing ‘Cats’ After Shutdown Because It Seems Like Everyone Was Busy When It Came Out or Something Tom Hooper Suggests Re-Releasing ‘Cats’ After Shutdown Because It Seems Like Everyone Was Busy When It Came Out or Something LOS ANGELES — Cats director Tom Hooper suggested on social media today that theaters could re-release Cats once the quarantine ends because people seemingly missed…
April 27, 2020 Terrifying: This Writer Is Willing to Hate Any Movie for Just a Few Thousand Clicks Terrifying: This Writer Is Willing to Hate Any Movie for Just a Few Thousand Clicks Most writers like movies that are good and dislike movies that are bad, letting the internet decide who deserves the most clicks based entirely on…
April 27, 2020 Fans Disappointed to Discover It Was Actually Daniel Radcliffe Who Visited That Girl’s Animal Crossing Island Fans Disappointed to Discover It Was Actually Daniel Radcliffe Who Visited That Girl’s Animal Crossing Island NEW HORIZONS — Fans worldwide were disappointed to discover that the celebrity who visited someone’s Animal Crossing: New Horizons island was not Elijah Wood, and…
April 25, 2020 North Korea’s Mom Demands Little Sister Gets a Turn as Dictator North Korea’s Mom Demands Little Sister Gets a Turn as Dictator PYONGYANG — North Korea’s mother has demanded that Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un give his little sister Kim Yo-jong a turn as dictator now that he…
April 22, 2020 NYC Resident Plays Spider-Man Just to Remember What It Was Like to Walk Around NYC Resident Plays Spider-Man Just to Remember What It Was Like to Walk Around NEW YORK — Quarantined Manhattan resident Jesse Whittle is reportedly replaying Spider-Man on the PlayStation 4 just to remember what it was like to walk…
April 12, 2020 Mario Can’t Get Resume Under 10 Pages Mario Can’t Get Resume Under 10 Pages MUSHROOM KINGDOM — Local Brooklynite Mario Mario was reportedly unable to get his resume under 10 pages following a bout of unemployment due to the…
April 11, 2020 Jim Carrey Seen Wearing Mask to Get Groceries Jim Carrey Seen Wearing Mask to Get Groceries LOS ANGELES — In an effort to prevent the spread of coronavirus to those in a local Trader Joe’s, actor and comedian Jim Carrey was…
