August 27, 2020 Activision Announces New ‘Star Wars’ Game Activision Announces New ‘Star Wars’ Game SANTA MONICA — Activision revealed a new ‘Star Wars’ video game today entitled Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War, available late 2020. “We know…
August 18, 2020 Images From 343’s ‘Super Mario 64 Anniversary’ Leaked and It Looks Incredible Images From 343’s ‘Super Mario 64 Anniversary’ Leaked and It Looks Incredible Holy shit you guys. Apparently 343, the company known for making the Halo games after Bungie moved on to Destiny, is working on a remake…
August 18, 2020 Ocasio-Cortez Given Speedrun Slot at DNC Ocasio-Cortez Given Speedrun Slot at DNC MILWAUKEE — The Democratic National Committee has granted Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez a “speedrun” slot at tonight’s convention to show off her skills in the Digestible…
August 16, 2020 John Hodgman Beats the Shit Out of Justin Long in New Fortnite Video John Hodgman Beats the Shit Out of Justin Long in New Fortnite Video LOS ANGELES — Epic Games has furthered their legal battle with Apple by releasing a video featuring John Hodgman and Justin Long reprising their roles…
August 8, 2020 Olimar Insists Red Pikmin are “Virtually Immune” to Drowning Olimar Insists Red Pikmin are “Virtually Immune” to Drowning PNF-404 — Captain Olimar insisted to a group of red Pikmin today that they need not worry while trying to cross a river because they…
July 31, 2020 Number of Video Games Worldwide Hits Record High Number of Video Games Worldwide Hits Record High WASHINGTON — Experts have released a troubling new report that the number of video games worldwide has hit a record high. “These findings are absolutely…
July 30, 2020 New Call of Duty Game Imagines What If Russia Attacked Own Civilians in Fictional City of PФЯҬLДИD New Call of Duty Game Imagines What If Russia Attacked Own Civilians in Fictional City of PФЯҬLДИD SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Activision announced that the next game in the Call of Duty franchise, Call of Duty: Uprising, will take place in the…
July 29, 2020 Girlfriend Has No Idea Sex Playlist Is Just Old School RuneScape Soundtrack Girlfriend Has No Idea Sex Playlist Is Just Old School RuneScape Soundtrack PHOENIX — Local girlfriend Marissa Andrews is reportedly unaware that the playlist her boyfriend put on during sex last week was just a 2-hour YouTube…
July 28, 2020 Gamers Furious as ‘Hard Drive Magazine’ Introduces Microtransactions Gamers Furious as ‘Hard Drive Magazine’ Introduces Microtransactions NEW YORK — Gamers are furious worldwide after popular video game website Hard Drive introduced microtransactions, making exclusive articles available to those who sign up…
