James Gavigan

Bootlicking Goody Two Shoes Chooses to Send Data to Microsoft to Make Windows 10 Better

MILWAUKEE — Local goody two shoes Zakk Haley chose to send a data report to Microsoft after his copy of…

3 years ago

Harvard Law Announces Less Demanding ‘I’m Not Lawyer, But’ Program

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Harvard Law School has announced that they are starting a less prestigious program for students who wish…

3 years ago

No Reason for Character to Be Asexual Besides Writer’s Entire Life Experience

RENO, Nev. — Hira Fealeaf, the main character of the recently-releasd fantasy novel The Sorcerer of Lumsworth, is asexual, despite…

3 years ago

Ad Blocker Makes Game Awards 7 Minutes Long

LOS ANGELES— The 2020 Game Awards were reduced to an anemic seven minutes of content after audience members tuned in…

3 years ago

Physicists Discover That Universe Began as Arma 3 Mod

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Researchers at MIT’s Center for Theoretical Physics were shocked to discover that the universe as we know…

4 years ago

Dragon Ball Villain Who Can’t Become Final Form Swears This Doesn’t Normally Happen

NAMEK — Local psychopath and emperor of Universe 7, Frieza, reportedly failed to turn into his final form at a…

4 years ago

34-Year-Old Little Brother Still Somehow Thinks Unplugged Controller Is Player 2

ITHACA, N.Y. — 34-year old Don Cotton is still easily tricked into thinking that he is playing a game while…

4 years ago

Loser Six Year Old Can’t Even Start Profitable Toy Review Channel

SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Local six-year-old and utter failure Freddy Johnson has been unable to turn a profit from his toy…

4 years ago

Rumor: Nintendo Source Confirms Duke Nukem ‘100% DEFINITELY’ Coming to Smash Bros Ultimate! [UPDATE: This Is Not True]

Hail to the king, baby! Earlier today an industry leak confirmed beyond a doubt that Duke Nukem was joining the…

4 years ago