Jake Menez

Trail of Diet Cokes Set Up to Ensure Smooth Transition of Power

WASHINGTON — President Donald J. Trump has peacefully vacated the White House after following a trail of Diet Coke bottles…

4 years ago

Group of Lifelong Friends Ruins Franchise by Adding Child Character

NEW YORK — A group of lifelong friends prepared to have their dynamic changed this week as the announcement was…

4 years ago

U.S. Announces Plan to Withdraw All Troops from Donkey Kong Country by Christmas

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump took to Twitter last night to announce that all American forces currently serving overseas in…

4 years ago

Twitch Streamer Rigged to Explode If Game Drops Below 30 FPS

LOS ANGELES — Professional streamer Sandra Cruz — known online as CruzControl2 — strapped a series of bombs to her…

4 years ago

God Uses McRib to Create Female Companion for Ronald McDonald

WALLA WALLA, Wash. — Patrons at a local McDonalds restaurant were caught off guard earlier this week as God, alleged…

4 years ago

Isle Delfino Residents Guessing at Political Message Behind New Banksy Piece

ISLE DELFINO — Residents of Isle Delfino were left shocked and amazed this week as a mysterious public art installation…

4 years ago

Massive Data Breach Reveals Unused Character Model for Niles Crane in ‘Cheers’ Source Code

BRUNSWICK, N.J. — Fans of the classic NBC sitcom Cheers rejoiced today as a massive data breach revealed that long-gestating rumors regarding…

4 years ago