Grant Mulitz

Coup Player Clearly Lying About Being Your Friend

BOSTON — Suspecting that one of your card-playing guests obviously cannot be an Ambassador or the Contessa, game night sources…

5 years ago

Museum of Natural History Acquires 4-Million Year Old Dry Bones

NEW YORK — Touting the new exhibit as a magnificent specimen of Koopa Troopa ancestry, the American Museum of Natural…

5 years ago

Gamer’s Health Care Plan Mainly Jumping Head First Into Red Heart Logo Outside CVS

DULUTH, Minn. — Claiming it’s been the cheapest and most accessible health power-up since getting kicked off of his parents’…

5 years ago

Study: 85% of Christians Still Do Not Believe Humans Evolved From Donkey Kong

WASHINGTON — According to a nationwide survey conducted by the Pew Research Center, an overwhelming 85% of Christians do not…

5 years ago

Cool Black Car With Neon Green Accents Must Be Owner’s Gaming Car

NEW YORK —  Using words like “pro,” “premium,” and “racing-style,” sources have confirmed that the black 2015 Chevy Camaro with…

5 years ago

Disney Breeds Dozens of New Frog Species to Expand National Geographic Streaming Content

BURBANK, Calif. — Stating their intent to dramatically increase the wildlife channel’s Disney+ presence, the Walt Disney Company announced today…

5 years ago

35 Year-Old Man Still Sees Pediatrician With N64 in Waiting Room

KANSAS CITY — 35-year-old Peter Brydon has been seeing family pediatrician Dr. Richard Cohen, who has had a Nintendo 64…

5 years ago

Review: This Super Mario Plush Toy Could Never Beat Having Real Plumber Live In Your House

The other day while walking through the toy section at Target, I saw a little plush toy of the iconic…

5 years ago

Pikachu Overcome by Own Mortality Realizing He Will One Day Die and Become Duskull

JOHTO — Contemplating its afterlife for the first time in his life following a fierce battle, a local Pikachu fell…

5 years ago