Giovanni Colantonio

Cockroaches Thank Homeowner for New Luxury High-Rise

BROOKLYN, N.Y. — One day after setting up her new Xbox Series X, local homeowner Maya Cruz received a letter…

4 years ago

Can You Violate the Geneva Conventions in Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War, Hitman, and Blaseball?

A new era is upon us. This year, a new generation of consoles will come into our homes, bringing us…

4 years ago

Gamer Downloads Hot New Multiplayer Game Just in Time for Friends to Move On

BANGOR, Maine — Local gamer Ned Price finally downloaded a multiplayer game his friends have been playing nonstop for weeks,…

4 years ago

Roguelike Fan Also Starts Each New Day With Nothing

ANKENY, Iowa — Unemployed and recently single roguelike enthusiast Daryl Cain says that he feels a strong connection to the…

4 years ago

Dad Getting Tired of Cleaning Rupees Out of Lawnmower

BEAVERCREEK, Ohio — Local father Stu Campbell is reportedly fed up with having to clean hundreds of rupees out of…

4 years ago

Nintendo in Panic Mode After Microsoft Acquires Luigi

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo has reportedly entered a full state of panic with executives blindsided after Microsoft announced that it…

4 years ago

Nintendo Sends DMCA Takedown to Nintendo for Emulating Mario Games

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo has issued a DMCA takedown to Nintendo, threatening to press legal action if the studio doesn’t…

4 years ago

Amateur Boxer TKO’s Heavyweight Champion After Multiple Jabs to His Great Big Belly

LAS VEGAS — Amateur boxer Mackenzie Smalls is making waves after knocking out heavyweight champion Kingsly Ippolito with a flurry…

4 years ago

Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War Lobby Just Two Opposing Teams Threatening to Start Match

RICHMOND, Va. — Players have been waiting for a multiplayer round of Call of Duty: Black Ops Cold War to…

4 years ago