Giovanni Colantonio

CD Projekt Red Announces Cyberpunk 2077: A Game of the Year Edition

WARSAW — CD Projekt Red announced that a new, definitive version of Cyberpunk 2077 is coming this fall, titled Cyberpunk…

4 years ago

Doomguy and Master Chief Embarrassed They Wore the Same Thing to the Office

REDMOND, Wash. — Following Microsoft’s acquisition of Bethesda, new co-workers Master Chief and Doomguy had an awkward first day at…

4 years ago

Disney Announces Next Marvel Show ‘Mantis, Talos, & Whoever’s Free to Film Next Tuesday’

BURBANK, Calif. — Disney has announced Mantis, Talos, & Whoever’s Free To Film Next Tuesday, a new Marvel show that…

4 years ago

Review: The ‘Snyder Cut’ Is Whatever We Already Decided About It Before It Came Out

The wait is finally over. Zack Snyder’s long-anticipated redo of 2018’s Justice League, dubbed the “Snyder Cut,” is finally out…

4 years ago

Nintendo Celebrates Metroid’s 35th Anniversary With 30-Minute Moment of Silence

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo acknowledged the 35th anniversary of its beloved Metroid franchise with a new Direct presentation that featured…

4 years ago

Hades Player Horny for Every Character Might Just Be Horny

BROOKLYN, N.Y. — A new study released by researchers at St. Joseph’s College has revealed that Hades players who are…

4 years ago

Local Crackpot Believes His Tweets are Good Enough to Be Suppressed by the Algorithm

DICKSON, Tenn. — Twitter user Lenny Vickerman, a 43-year-old who frequently posts unintelligible rants on social media, suspects that the…

4 years ago

Podcaster Spends 2 Hours Setting Up Elaborate Audio Rig for Casual Family Zoom Chat

AKRON, Ohio — Podcaster Briana Giraud spent a full two hours setting up and testing her $2,000 audio rig in…

4 years ago

Inconsiderate Friend Doesn’t Spoiler Tag That Princess Peach Isn’t Actually in Castle

SPOKANE, Wash. — Discord user Michael McNeil drew the ire of a Mario fan server after failing to use spoiler…

4 years ago