Gabe Porter

Tattoo Parlor Refuses to Do Swastikas, Iron Crosses, Triforces

PARMA, Ohio — Tattoo parlor The Lazy Tiger has announced a controversial ban on several hate symbols and also the…

3 years ago

Podcast Fan Not Sure What to Listen to While Looking for Something to Listen To

BROOKSVILLE, Fla. — Local audiophile Tanya Binns has been searching for a podcast to occupy her ears while she desperately…

3 years ago

Indie Game Takes Inspiration From EarthBound’s Lack of Financial Success

TUCSON, Ariz. — Game developer Rodney Jones’ latest title, Infinite Dreamz Are Here 2 Stay, is to be inspired by…

3 years ago

Despondent Man Has Tried Everything to Get Friends to Try Shenmue

TOLEDO, Ohio — Hopeless Shenmue fanatic Peter Hull has reportedly tried everything in his power to get his friends to…

3 years ago

New Buddhism Update Allows Items and Upgrades to Carry Into Next Life

BEIJING — A new Buddhist doctrine confirms that your earthly possessions and skills will now carry into your new life…

3 years ago

Peter Molyneux Confirms Milo Died Five Years Ago

GUILDFORD, U.K. — Famed game director Peter Molyneux, completely unprompted, confirmed to members of the press that Milo, the artificial…

3 years ago

Super Smash Bros Ultimate Finally Lets Gamers Imagine “What If Cloud Fought Sephiroth?”

TOKYO — Following years of speculation, Super Smash Bros. Ultimate finally allows fans to imagine who would win in a…

3 years ago

Gamer Knows Way Around Midgar Better Than Own Neighborhood

GALESBURG, Ill. — Local gamer Brett Gunderson has confirmed that he can navigate through the virtual town of Midgar from…

3 years ago

PS5 In-Stock at Neighbor’s House

YOUR NEIGHBOR’S HOUSE — New reports confirm that the PlayStation 5 is finally in stock, available for $0.00 (not including…

3 years ago