November 19, 2019 Freddy Krueger Getting Real Freaked Out By Evangelion Fan’s Dreams Freddy Krueger Getting Real Freaked Out By Evangelion Fan’s Dreams SPRINGWOOD, Ohio — Paranormal teen-killer Freddy Krueger is feeling totally freaked out while trying to haunt a Neon Genesis Evangelion fan’s dreams, sleeping sources confirmed. …
October 31, 2019 Embarrassment Ensues at Police Halloween Party Where Everyone Showed Up as the Punisher Embarrassment Ensues at Police Halloween Party Where Everyone Showed Up as the Punisher ONEONTA, Ala. — A social faux pas was committed at the annual Blount County Police Halloween Ball after every single officer and deputy dressed as…
October 7, 2019 Monster Attack Leaves 37 Dead, 120 Homeless, 1 Power Ranger Having Learned Valuable Lesson About Peer Pressure Monster Attack Leaves 37 Dead, 120 Homeless, 1 Power Ranger Having Learned Valuable Lesson About Peer Pressure ANGEL GROVE, Calif. — The Levy Heights massacre, in which a half-boar half-clown monster called Piggly Giggly destroyed dozens of mixed-use and residential buildings, has…
April 11, 2019 Is This New Fighting Game the Next Street Fighter? No. Is This New Fighting Game the Next Street Fighter? No. After three years and five missed deadlines, Stomp Head Gaming’s much-hyped kickstarter game Schoolyard Head Stompers is out. This game promised to mix Street Fighter…
February 9, 2019 Hey, Wanna See Some Nazi Shit? Hey, Wanna See Some Nazi Shit? Oh, you want to watch a Doctor Who trailer? Your Google history tells us you enjoy opinions on Doctor Who. Yeah yeah just keep auto-play…
February 28, 2018 Final Boss Paid 35 Times More Than Level 1 Minion Final Boss Paid 35 Times More Than Level 1 Minion MUSHROOM KINGDOM — A new study on wage distributions in Mushroom Kingdom by University of Toad Town has found the average final boss earns thirty-five…
November 1, 2017 Retrospective: Tiger Electronics and Your Family’s Brutal Failure to Climb Into Middle Class Retrospective: Tiger Electronics and Your Family’s Brutal Failure to Climb Into Middle Class For fifteen years, Tiger Electronics’ handheld games dominated the market as a cheap alternative to real games for impoverished families to remind their children…
October 19, 2017 Valve Hires George R.R. Martin to Begin Writing Half-Life 3 Valve Hires George R.R. Martin to Begin Writing Half-Life 3 SANTE FE, N.M. — A Song of Fire and Ice writer George R.R. Martin was hired by Valve today to help write the story for…
