September 15, 2021 Mobile ‘Escape Room’ Business Not Going So Great Mobile ‘Escape Room’ Business Not Going So Great BOSTON — A guy that started a new mobile escape room business during last year’s lockdown is starting to wonder how long he can keep…
July 19, 2021 Bloons Tower Defense 4 World Cup Held in Quiet Corner of Middle School Library Bloons Tower Defense 4 World Cup Held in Quiet Corner of Middle School Library TOMS RIVER, N.J. — Palpable excitement is building in the quiet corner of the Manchester Township Middle School library as four promising eleven-year-olds prepare for…
July 9, 2021 You’re Going to Buy It Anyway, Aren’t You, You Greedy Little Piggy? You’re Going to Buy It Anyway, Aren’t You, You Greedy Little Piggy? C’mon, tell me I’m a bad company. Oh, I’ve been so bad. Go on, tweet those before and after pictures of Alex Jones. Label them…
December 7, 2020 Tinder User’s Favorite Hobbies Mostly Just Vital Bodily Functions Tinder User’s Favorite Hobbies Mostly Just Vital Bodily Functions BOCA RATON, Fla. — Debuting his brand-new dating profile, local Tinder user David Bloom, 29, advertised his long-held passions for eating food, breathing fresh air,…
November 25, 2020 Guide: How to Trick Your Boyfriend Into Thinking He’s Letting You Win Guide: How to Trick Your Boyfriend Into Thinking He’s Letting You Win Ever wanted to annihilate your boyfriend in video games without annihilating his fragile male ego? Well with these six simple tips, you’ll be racking up…
November 21, 2020 Crowdfunded Bottle Opener ‘Indestructible’ for Some Reason Crowdfunded Bottle Opener ‘Indestructible’ for Some Reason PALO ALTO, Calif. — Designers of the hyper-masculine bottle opener, BottleBRUTALIZER, announced on Kickstarter earlier this week that the product would be “virtually indestructible,” citing…
November 19, 2020 Resume Updated Two Minutes Into ‘Photoshop Basics’ Tutorial Resume Updated Two Minutes Into ‘Photoshop Basics’ Tutorial OMAHA, Neb. — Local job seeker Brenna Reed updated her resume to include “proficient at Photoshop” roughly two minutes into a 5-hour tutorial on the…
November 16, 2020 Smart Fridge Only Approachable Member of Friend’s Family Smart Fridge Only Approachable Member of Friend’s Family DURHAM, N.C. — During a recent visit to his friend’s house, Patrick Garrett found an LG InstaView ThinQ smart fridge to be the only approachable…
March 27, 2020 Single Viewer of Twitch Stream Under More Pressure Than Streamer Single Viewer of Twitch Stream Under More Pressure Than Streamer ROCKVILLE, M.D. — After accidentally clicking on “bigjeremygaming_33 plays minecraft (xbox) very funny,” local Twitch user Nathan Elbaum came to the uncomfortable realization that he…
