August 17, 2021 Dying Gamer Uses Last Breath to Recommend ‘Ghost of Tsushima’ If You Haven’t Played It Dying Gamer Uses Last Breath to Recommend ‘Ghost of Tsushima’ If You Haven’t Played It LANCASTER, Pa. — Recently deceased gamer Kyle Larson used his final words to recommend the PlayStation video game Ghost of Tsushima to anybody who hasn’t…
August 10, 2021 Microsoft Confirms ‘Stardew Valley’ Coming to Game Pass as Long as We All Agree Joja Corporation Is Not Evil Microsoft Confirms ‘Stardew Valley’ Coming to Game Pass as Long as We All Agree Joja Corporation Is Not Evil REDMOND, Wash. — Microsoft has confirmed that the popular indie game Stardew Valley will be included with Xbox Game Pass later this year, as long…
August 8, 2021 Principled Gamer Only Buys From Studios Where Allegations Haven’t Come Out Yet Principled Gamer Only Buys From Studios Where Allegations Haven’t Come Out Yet MADISON, Wisc. — In an effort to be an ethical consumer, local gamer Teresa Moyers has vowed to purchase video games only from studios where…
July 29, 2021 Incredibly Charismatic Man Turns Profit on Trip to Grocery Store Incredibly Charismatic Man Turns Profit on Trip to Grocery Store TAMPA, Fla. — Using his trademark looks and dynamite charm, local man Chris Marshall made a clean $20 profit on a grocery run this morning.…
July 26, 2021 Activision Blizzard Confirms Nobody in HR Department Sober Enough to Read Open Letter Activision Blizzard Confirms Nobody in HR Department Sober Enough to Read Open Letter SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Activision Blizzard admitted that their entire Human Resources department was “too fucking shithoused” to read an open letter from over 800…
July 22, 2021 Fraternity Criticized for “Activision Blizzard-Like Culture” Fraternity Criticized for “Activision Blizzard-Like Culture” FORT SMITH, Ark. — A local chapter of the Lambda Chi Alpha fraternity has been accused of mimicking the toxic workplace culture of the gaming…
July 20, 2021 Jackass 4 to Feature ‘Abolutely Fucking Twisted’ Footage of Steve-O Continuing to Improve His Life Jackass 4 to Feature ‘Abolutely Fucking Twisted’ Footage of Steve-O Continuing to Improve His Life LOS ANGELES — A new trailer promises Jackass Forever will depict Steve-O doing “all kinds of sick shit” to further his personal journey toward health…
July 20, 2021 Useless Bartender Doesn’t Know Jack Shit About Town Goings On Useless Bartender Doesn’t Know Jack Shit About Town Goings On CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Fitzpatrick’s Beer & Wings has faced a wave of complaints about their pointless bartender, Noah Burke, who doesn’t know jack shit about…
July 9, 2021 Microsoft Pulls Commercial That Accidentally Shows Inside-Out Xbox Microsoft Pulls Commercial That Accidentally Shows Inside-Out Xbox REDMOND, Wash. — Microsoft posted and immediately removed an Xbox Series X advertisement this morning, after fans noticed the video accidentally depicted the console in…
