DLC Unlocks Expansive New Region of Chores

MONTREAL — Reviews have been favorable for the paid expansions to Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla, with gamers praising the vast, colorful…

3 years ago

BREAKING: Flamethrower Guy Has Thing on His Back You Can Shoot

JUST OUTSIDE THE CAPITOL — Reconnaissance from the makeshift battlefield has confirmed that the guy with the huge flamethrower just…

3 years ago

Gamer Who Just Bought ‘Pokémon Shining Pearl’ Suddenly Really Concerned About Going Outside During Omicron

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — In the weeks since buying Pokémon Shining Pearl for the Nintendo Switch, local gamer Calvin Palmer has…

3 years ago

First Edition Card Has Seen Some Shit

SAN FRANCISCO — A rare, first edition printing of the Magic: the Gathering card Time Walk recently posted on eBay…

3 years ago

Man Binging New Podcast Reaches the One After Trump Got Elected

NEW YORK — A man binge-listening to the backlog of his new favorite podcast has finally gotten to the one…

3 years ago

Actor Robert Durst, Star of HBO’s The Jinx, Dead at 78

NEW YORK —  Following the tragic losses of fellow actor/comedians Betty White and Bob Sagat, 78-year-old actor Robert Durst, best…

3 years ago

Take-Two Decides to Acquire Zynga for $12.7 Billion Instead of Waiting 24 Hours

NEW YORK — Take-Two Interactive made a shocking acquisition today, opting to buy mobile game company Zynga for $12.7 billion…

3 years ago

I Touched Every Blade of Grass in ‘Breath of the Wild’ and Learned I Need to Make Increasingly Complicated Video Game Content In Order to Feel Anything Anymore

If you’re familiar with my work or video game content in general, you know that I love to go to…

3 years ago

Tranquil, Meditative Puzzle Game Being Real Piece of Shit Today

CHICAGO — A series of slowly paced puzzle games have dangerously raised the blood pressure of local man Harry Foster,…

3 years ago