Blatant Rip-Off Described as ‘Love Letter’

ST. LOUIS — Indie game Vetroid Mania hit shelves this week, taking the gaming world by storm. The game centers…

3 years ago

Gamer Afraid to Use Epipen In Case He Needs It Later

FRESNO, Calif. — Local gamer John Manson was hospitalized after an allergic reaction to shellfish at a Red Lobster Monday…

3 years ago

Forgotten Adobe Subscription Ruins Year’s Worth of Financial Planning

CHICAGO — Local freelance graphic designer Amanda Norman was forced to sell all of her belongings and move back in…

3 years ago

Hitman Guard Not Sure Why Everybody Is Making Annoying Choking Noises on the Comms Today

PARIS — Sources have confirmed that Jean Moreau, head of the security team working the Sanguine fashion show in Paris,…

3 years ago

Pokémon GO Player and Bird Watcher Silently Pity Each Other in Park

ST. LOUIS — Bird watcher Daniel Allen and avid Pokémon GO player Jonathan Meyer could be seen silently pitying one…

3 years ago

King Solomon Solves SONY/Marvel Spider-Man Dispute By Offering to Cut Tom Holland in Half

JERUSALEM — Biblical icon King Solomon has offered to rectify a dispute between SONY and Marvel by offering to cut…

3 years ago

‘Alien’ Porn Parody Posits That in Space Nobody Can Hear You Cream

SAN FRANCISCO — Porn studio FilmFuck has produced a parody film taking inspiration from Ridley Scott’s horror classic Alien entitled…

3 years ago

New Buddhism Update Allows Items and Upgrades to Carry Into Next Life

BEIJING — A new Buddhist doctrine confirms that your earthly possessions and skills will now carry into your new life…

3 years ago

Glowing Anime Recommendation Only 70% Caveats

COLUMBUS, Ohio — Local anime fan Darren Jeffries strongly recommended the recent series Danjonmonsutā: I Love Crushing Dungeon Monsters to…

3 years ago