Entertainment

‘Alien’ Porn Parody Posits That in Space Nobody Can Hear You Cream

SAN FRANCISCO — Porn studio FilmFuck has produced a parody film taking inspiration from Ridley Scott’s horror classic Alien entitled ‘Alien ResERECTION,’ which posits the frightening notion that “in space, nobody can hear you cream.”

According to those familiar with the situation, ‘Alien ResERECTION’ follows a female scientist trapped in outer space with an evolving, ravenous alien, who craves sex as much as human blood. The film has been praised for its accuracy and detail, as well as sexiness.

Alien has always been a huge influence for my work,” said ‘Alien ResERECTION’ director Vick French. “I remember watching the chilling science fiction triumph in theaters, on the edge of my seat the entire time. Except I couldn’t help but think, ‘why doesn’t Sigourney Weaver simply have sexual congress with the Xenomorph?’ In the vein of recent Hollywood remakes, I thought I would try my hand at realizing my rendition of an Alien film where sex was the sole motivation for the entire three minute runtime. Surely the original had some sexual undertones, but let’s make those overtones. And let’s jerk off to those.”

“I guess instead of being on the edge of my seat,” French added, “I want to be edging on my seat. And that’s how I approached making this film.”

Despite it’s unique genre, the film has earned accolades from die hard fans of the Alien movies.

“It actually avoids a lot of the problems an Alien movie usually has,” said ‘Alien’ fan Mark Shiffrin. “The ending makes sense, the score is fine, and there were no hanging plotlines. I really liked what they did with the main woman character, Ripass. My only criticism is that I really needed to engage the whole time, in fact I could only have one free hand during the entire movie.” 

“Also, for what it’s worth, I could definitely hear the actors creaming,” Shiffrin continued. “So I guess that tagline wasn’t totally accurate. It was pretty loud.”

The porn film features three minutes of nothing but graphic, poorly-edited sex, which has earned the movie its spot below Alien and Aliens in most rankings, but above every single other Alien movie.

Camden Brazile