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Fuck, man. I pitched GameShark Week and figured it was a home run for sure. I lied and said I had a week’s worth of content planned. Everyone rejoiced at the meeting when I said it. Phrases like “slam dunk” and “Mark with the big dick” were thrown around, but alas — I got ahead of myself, and now I think GameShark Week is running on fumes just one day into it. Crap.

I sent in “Ranking Every GameShark,” which isn’t the worst thing for a site like ours to put up, when you think about it. People click lists, everyone knows that. The article would have done okay, but I hadn’t thought of a single other GameShark article for this week, and I promised my editor Jeremy “a dozen or two.” Now he keeps calling my phone and I am terrified. Okay, I’m actually going to throw this phone out the window. 

There. I think that will buy me some time. Maybe I could hop on Twitch and, like, put GameShark codes in? Or maybe I could interview gamers and journalists about what the GameShark meant to them? Oh fuck, we did that article already.  Did anyone read it? Maybe we can run it again. I’ll pitch that to Jeremy. Oh wait, I threw my phone out the window. Well, I’ll just remember for when I see him next. 

Ok, think, Mark. Think, think, think, think, think. Let’s try some free association. Shark, water, games, water games, Jaws, water polo, Jaws on Nintendo, Shark Boy and Lava Girl, Sewer Sharks. Is any of that anything? Maybe I could tell Jeremy he heard me wrong and it’s actually Sewer Shark Week. 

Wait, shit, we did Sewer Shark Week last year. Goddamn. 

Okay, here’s one. ‘Top Ten Games That Would Be Better if They Had GameShark Stuff.’ Yeah, let’s do that! Okay, that’s what this article is now. Sorry. Ok, here we go. 

Uh, so like, Red Dead Redemption? There could be a code that lets you sober up if you drink too much?  Oh man, what a great time that could be. Don’t you guys think it would be really great if you could put a GameShark code into Red Dead Redemption that made you less drunk? I think it sounds great. What a great idea. 

Isn’t this fun? I hope everyone is enjoying GameShark Week as much as I am! See you tomorrow for some more GameShark content. It’ll be right here on the website. You’ll see it! 

Sound off in the comments if you had a GameShark, what you’d like to use it on today, and what kind of things we could write articles about for Wednesday through Sunday. Happy GameShark Week everyone!

Photo via YouTube.