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Valve Announces the Switch Pro


BELLEVUE, Wash. — In an exciting product reveal that gamers have been anticipating since rumors began circulating at the start of the year, makers of Half-Life, Valve, announced the forthcoming launch of the Nintendo Switch Pro model in a special presentation earlier today.

“We know gamers all around the world have fallen in love with the Nintendo Switch, which is why we’re pleased to share the Switch Pro model with you all today,” said Kimberly Ragazzo, a representative for the company. “It’s taken lots of hard work and ingenuity, but we are confident that we’ve improved on the original design of the Switch in every single way with this exciting new hardware refresh.”

The reveal of the device, which was filled with exciting zoom-ins and 3D renders highlighting the Switch Pro’s new features, underscored the fact that gamers have been looking to upgrade their Switch consoles for a long time.

“Yes! I’m so excited that they’re finally releasing a Switch Pro model, thank you Valve!!!” said user @MariosBestFriend36 on Twitter. “I’m so excited to finally be able to play Hades at 60 FPS on the go. With the original Switch, that would have been impossible. Can’t wait to throw that old thing in the trash once I upgrade!”

Despite massive praise from fans, there has been pushback from Nintendo about the decision from Valve to release their product.

“Waaaaah!!!!” said Nintendo CEO Shuntaro Furukawa. “You cheated!!!!”

At press time, a full technical spec sheet for the Switch Pro also revealed that it would include a long-awaited Switch feature of functional analog sticks.