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Tetris Pieces Attempting to Unionize Mysteriously Disappear


MOSCOW — Pieces from the popular Tetris series have gone missing after they gathered to allegedly discuss forming a union.

During a round of the puzzle game, pieces began gathering in the corner of the screen and whispering. Moments later, a long piece (later identified as a member of Tetris upper management) stopped by to see what the commotion was. Within seconds, the entire group had vanished without a trace.

“This guy Alexi Pajitnov, he hired us back in ‘84 for this puzzle game. We haven’t asked for much for these nearly 40 years, but enough is enough,” said J piece, a tetromino with connections to the pieces that had gone missing. 

“This is a very dangerous job,” explained J. “We’re constantly dropped from a high place, spun around, and placed without much thought or protection for ourselves. And don’t get me started on the speed increase at level 10. But it keeps a roof over my head, so what am I to do?”

These thoughts were shared with other tetrominoes who gathered to discuss the creation of a tetromino union, according to J piece. 

“Some pieces had been talking about it for years, thinking of demands, but nothing serious came of it until S piece came along,” he said. “That maniac really stirred things up, spouting his anti-Tetris nonsense and sticking himself in places he doesn’t belong.”

S piece, along with a few Os, Ls, and Zs, has been missing since that meeting. 

“This is why I did not get involved,” J lamented. “God knows where they disappeared to, but if I know management, they’ll never be seen again.”