November 9, 2020 Twitter User Cancels 20 Others Before Turning the Cancel on Himself Twitter User Cancels 20 Others Before Turning the Cancel on Himself LOS ANGELES — Local Twitter user Frederick Peterson, better known by his handle @freddiepeteyboy682, went on a tragic cancel spree early this morning, before turning…
November 6, 2020 Six-Hour Operation Finally Separates Headphone Cord From Wheel of Office Chair Six-Hour Operation Finally Separates Headphone Cord From Wheel of Office Chair CAYCE, S.C. — After over six hours of tense surgery, an emergency procedure has finally separated local gamer Andrae Webb’s headset cord from the wheel…
November 6, 2020 Sony Announces Foldable ‘New York Style’ PlayStation 5 Sony Announces Foldable ‘New York Style’ PlayStation 5 NEW YORK — Sony announced today in a press conference that they will be releasing a limited-edition foldable version of the upcoming PlayStation 5 platform…
November 5, 2020 Ryan Reynolds Swears He Has No Memory of Holding Up Novelty T-Shirt in Facebook Ad Ryan Reynolds Swears He Has No Memory of Holding Up Novelty T-Shirt in Facebook Ad LOS ANGELES — Actor Ryan Renolds was reportedly worried about his mental health when he came across a photo of him on social media holding…
November 3, 2020 New Photo Filter Shows What You Would Look Like in Facial-Recognition Database New Photo Filter Shows What You Would Look Like in Facial-Recognition Database SAN JOSE, Calif. — App start-up Throl has announced the new FaceServe photo filter, which shows users what they look like in any of the…
October 30, 2020 Man Can’t Throw Away PS2 Multitap in Case Three Friends Want to Get Together and Play a Few Rounds of ‘Twisted Metal: Black’ Man Can’t Throw Away PS2 Multitap in Case Three Friends Want to Get Together and Play a Few Rounds of ‘Twisted Metal: Black’ PARMA, Ohio — Local game collector Steve Yalper is dutifully holding on to his vintage PlayStation 2 Multitap in case up to three of his…
October 27, 2020 Pirate Bay Salvages What It Can From Wreck of Quibi Pirate Bay Salvages What It Can From Wreck of Quibi LOS ANGELES — Members of The Pirate Bay took to the cyber seas to salvage the wreckage of disgraced short-form video streaming service Quibi. “We…
October 26, 2020 Nestlé Files Lawsuit Claiming Moon Has No Legal Right to Water Nestlé Files Lawsuit Claiming Moon Has No Legal Right to Water ARLINGTON, Va. — Nestlé USA announced a lawsuit against the round astronomical body orbiting Earth, claiming the mass has no inherent legal right to possess…
October 22, 2020 Tim Cook Announces “We Decided to Make the iPhone Worse This Time” Tim Cook Announces “We Decided to Make the iPhone Worse This Time” CUPERTINO, Calif. — Apple CEO Tim Cook astonished Silicon Valley with a promise to disregard customers’ high expectations at this week’s iPhone press event. “Every…
