June 10, 2018 Fallout 76 Planning Genre Reveal Party for E3 Fallout 76 Planning Genre Reveal Party for E3 LOS ANGELES — Bethesda Softworks has announced an event to reveal what their new game Fallout 76 will be through an elaborate presentation during their…
May 21, 2018 VICE Writer Turns Windows 3D Pipes Screensaver Into Bong for Sick-Ass Article VICE Writer Turns Windows 3D Pipes Screensaver Into Bong for Sick-Ass Article BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Reportedly running out of ideas, tech journalist Ben Henrik published an in-depth guide on how to make the pipes screensaver from a…
May 17, 2018 Killer Robots Baffled at Advanced Captcha Technology Killer Robots Baffled at Advanced Captcha Technology SAN BERNARDINO, Calif. — ENCOM computer science expert Dr. Ezekiel Hill made a grave announcement that a rogue artificial intelligence, known as KT5K, had attempted…
May 16, 2018 Man Lists Favorite Streamer as Emergency Contact Man Lists Favorite Streamer as Emergency Contact LAKE VILLA, Ill. — Sources have revealed that Lyle Baker, 36, recently listed popular Twitch streamer Richard Blevins, better known as Ninja, as his emergency…
May 12, 2018 PlayStation 2 Last Remaining Way to Play CDs in Apartment PlayStation 2 Last Remaining Way to Play CDs in Apartment BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Local twenty-six year old Darren Fitzgerald discovered recently that, in order to show off the CDs he’d purchased at a flea market,…
May 8, 2018 Guy Who Can Tell Difference Between 60 and 100 FPS Lies About Other Stuff Too Guy Who Can Tell Difference Between 60 and 100 FPS Lies About Other Stuff Too FERNDALE, Wash. — At a recent LAN party, local PC gamer and prolific liar Chris Hartigan incorrectly suggested he could tell the difference between 60…
April 30, 2018 Terrified MIT Computer Scientists Hide From Roomba Hacked to Run DOOM Terrified MIT Computer Scientists Hide From Roomba Hacked to Run DOOM CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Several graduate students associated with the Massachusetts Institute of Technology’s Media Lab have taken shelter in a supply closet after a Roomba…
April 28, 2018 ‘Let’s Jump Right Into It,’ Says YouTuber Eight Minutes Into Tutorial ‘Let’s Jump Right Into It,’ Says YouTuber Eight Minutes Into Tutorial GLENCOE, Ill. — Seventeen-year-old Twitch streamer and occasional “YouTube Tutorialist” Tucker Ferguson announced to viewers his intention to “jump right into it,” eight full minutes…
April 25, 2018 Amazon Acquires Hasbro to Become Exclusive Seller of Monopoly Amazon Acquires Hasbro to Become Exclusive Seller of Monopoly SEATTLE — In a move widely expected by the industry, Amazon has acquired the board game giant Hasbro with the intention of being the singular…
