September 3, 2018 Man Unsure How He Came to Own 48 HDMI Cables Man Unsure How He Came to Own 48 HDMI Cables WITCHITA, Kan. — Following a recent move, Clark Markson has reportedly grown perplexed at the several dozen HDMI cords he has somehow acquired. “I bought…
August 26, 2018 Report: Every Online Friend You Haven’t Heard From in a While Is Dead Report: Every Online Friend You Haven’t Heard From in a While Is Dead WASHINGTON — A new report by the Department of Health and Human Services confirmed today that the online friends you once interacted with on a…
August 25, 2018 Professional Streamer Thanks Fans For Slowly Ruining His Favorite Hobby Professional Streamer Thanks Fans For Slowly Ruining His Favorite Hobby GRAYSLAKE, Ill. — At the end of a twelve hour stream last night, Manson Prate, known to his Twitch followers as CoolGate, thanked his viewers…
August 24, 2018 45 Dead After Disastrous Debut of Mad Catz Self-Driving Car 45 Dead After Disastrous Debut of Mad Catz Self-Driving Car SAINT PAUL, Minn. — Tragedy struck today as the first public showcase of the self-driving car invented by infamous video game accessory manufacturer Mad Catz…
August 9, 2018 IGN Writer Excited to Start Playing Game He Just Finished Reviewing IGN Writer Excited to Start Playing Game He Just Finished Reviewing SAN FRANCISCO — IGN writer Austin Rivera expressed his excitement this week to begin playing his advance copy of Call of Duty: Black Ops 4,…
August 6, 2018 Insufferable Alien Brags About Running Human Universe Simulation on Linux Insufferable Alien Brags About Running Human Universe Simulation on Linux PLUCART SYSTEM — Local alien Blixbor Raxorit once again boastfully yammered on about his Linux-based human life simulator called ‘Earth,’ much to the chagrin of…
July 29, 2018 Free-to-Play Indie Game Hits 1 Million Users Just Kind of Keeping It In Steam Library Free-to-Play Indie Game Hits 1 Million Users Just Kind of Keeping It In Steam Library BETHESDA, Md. — Larkin’s Quest, a critically acclaimed, free to download Steam game reached the historic milestone of one million downloads by people who will…
July 25, 2018 Programmers Closer to Building Sentient Robots than Understanding Plot of Westworld Programmers Closer to Building Sentient Robots than Understanding Plot of Westworld CHERNSVILLE, Calif. — Artificial intelligence researchers at the Chernsville Institute of Technology (ChIT) announced that they are closer than ever to building artificial life, but…
July 20, 2018 Elon Musk Changes Company Name to Edison Elon Musk Changes Company Name to Edison PALO ALTO — Business magnate and Tesla Inc. CEO Elon Musk has changed the name of his flagship company to Edison Inc. The change comes…
