April 14, 2019 Developer Really Hoping You Forgot About Those Kickstarter Rewards Developer Really Hoping You Forgot About Those Kickstarter Rewards LEBANON, Ky. — The development team behind the upcoming indie game ALBATROSS, which received a huge influx of cash from a successful Kickstarter campaign more…
April 11, 2019 GameStop Employee Somehow Being Threatened, Patronized, and Hit On at Same Time GameStop Employee Somehow Being Threatened, Patronized, and Hit On at Same Time TEMPE, Ariz. — A female cashier at a Gamestop location recently reported being intimidated, condescended to, and flirted with by one single customer, an inexplicable…
April 10, 2019 Local Hole Fan Doesn’t Mind That It’s Black But Doesn’t Get Why They Have to Force Diversity On Us Local Hole Fan Doesn’t Mind That It’s Black But Doesn’t Get Why They Have to Force Diversity On Us ORLANDO, Fla. — Self-described “hole fan” Chris Richardson is reportedly dismayed that the newly discovered “large space hole” by scientists had to be black. “Listen,…
April 2, 2019 Power Surges Through Reddit Moderator’s Body as He Bans User During Social Studies Power Surges Through Reddit Moderator’s Body as He Bans User During Social Studies KANSAS, Okla. — Local eighth grader and moderator for subreddit r/gaming Kris Stevens reportedly felt power coursing through his veins as he banned a user…
April 1, 2019 Expensive Gaming Chair Perfectly Absorbs 20th Fart of the Night Expensive Gaming Chair Perfectly Absorbs 20th Fart of the Night BURBANK, Calif. — Local gamer Doug Saunders recently purchased a high-end gaming chair, equipped with advanced technical features, a dynamic cushioning system, and the ability…
March 27, 2019 Netflix Now Autoplays Trailer If You Even Think About Opening Website Up Netflix Now Autoplays Trailer If You Even Think About Opening Website Up LOS GATOS, Calif. — Netflix CEO Reed Hastings announced today that the popular entertainment website will be implementing a new feature which autoplays trailers before…
March 26, 2019 Tesla Board Begging Elon Musk to Just Open Whimsical Chocolate Factory Already Tesla Board Begging Elon Musk to Just Open Whimsical Chocolate Factory Already PALO ALTO, Calif. — A letter to Tesla CEO Elon Musk from the rest of the company’s Board of Directors was leaked to the media…
March 25, 2019 Apple’s New Streaming Service Boldly Removes Your TV’s HDMI Ports Apple’s New Streaming Service Boldly Removes Your TV’s HDMI Ports CUPERTINO, Calif. — Apple announced their long-awaited new streaming service Apple TV+ during a keynote address at the company’s headquarters this morning, introducing a slate…
March 19, 2019 Google Stadia’s “I’m Feeling Lucky” Button Randomly Chooses Which Corporation Your Data Will Be Sold To Google Stadia’s “I’m Feeling Lucky” Button Randomly Chooses Which Corporation Your Data Will Be Sold To SAN FRANCISCO — Google revealed a new video game streaming platform called Stadia at this year’s Game Developers Conference. The service has a robust set…
