August 17, 2019 REPORT: Self-Driving Cars 95% Less Likely to Pull Off Sick Donuts in 7/11 Parking Lot REPORT: Self-Driving Cars 95% Less Likely to Pull Off Sick Donuts in 7/11 Parking Lot PALO ALTO, Calif. — A disheartening new report from Tesla concluded earlier this week that self-driving cars are still years behind their traditional counterparts when…
August 14, 2019 Relaunched StumbleUpon Shuffles User Between Twitter, Reddit, and Facebook Relaunched StumbleUpon Shuffles User Between Twitter, Reddit, and Facebook SAN FRANCISCO — The creators of the once-popular website StumbleUpon announced today they are relaunching the service for the modern internet era and will allow…
July 31, 2019 Next Season of ‘The Bachelorette’ Has 3.2 Million Twitch Followers Compete for Pokimane’s Love Next Season of ‘The Bachelorette’ Has 3.2 Million Twitch Followers Compete for Pokimane’s Love BISMARCK, N.D. — After the conclusion of the most recent The Bachelorette season, ABC announced that Twitch user Pokimane would be the show’s next star.…
July 30, 2019 Meet Gary, the First Ever Person to Pay for Photoshop Meet Gary, the First Ever Person to Pay for Photoshop We all love the Adobe Creative Suite and we’re thankful it exists online for free if you, uh, know how. But is there anyone on…
July 25, 2019 ‘I’m Funny’ Thinks Man Hitting Send on Tweet That Will Ruin His Life ‘I’m Funny’ Thinks Man Hitting Send on Tweet That Will Ruin His Life BOSTON — Blissfully unaware of the drastic ramifications the action would soon wreak upon him, local man Elliott Cole recently hit send on a “hilarious”…
July 19, 2019 Report: 20-Member Group Chat Much Worse in Person Report: 20-Member Group Chat Much Worse in Person CHICAGO — A local 20-person group chat was reportedly much less enjoyable in person, according to sources familiar with the face-to-face meeting earlier this month.…
July 18, 2019 Here are the Best Amazon Deals Now That Prime Day Has Ended and It’s Okay to Enable the Abuse of Warehouse Workers Again Here are the Best Amazon Deals Now That Prime Day Has Ended and It’s Okay to Enable the Abuse of Warehouse Workers Again Well, frugal gamers, Amazon Prime Day 2019 has ended. Millions of shoppers got some great deals, but millions more chose to abstain in solidarity with…
July 17, 2019 Couple Offers Bonus Grandchild as Patreon-Exclusive Content Couple Offers Bonus Grandchild as Patreon-Exclusive Content DAVENPORT, Iowa — Agnes and Leon Moore announced today that their forthcoming second child would be Patreon-exclusive content, according to an Instagram post. “Great news…
July 10, 2019 Worst Kid Has Best Birthday Party Worst Kid Has Best Birthday Party INVERNESS, Ill. — All-around little piece of shit Brenden Mounce, 11, entertained a house full of jealous classmates this weekend due to the fact that…
