September 10, 2019 Tesla Update Requires Owner to Tweet Praise at Elon Musk Before Car Starts Tesla Update Requires Owner to Tweet Praise at Elon Musk Before Car Starts PALO ALTO, Calif. — A surprise software update was sent out to Tesla cars late last night that locks the car from starting its engine…
September 6, 2019 Jeff Bezos Bankrupt After Making Enough Money For Extra Life Jeff Bezos Bankrupt After Making Enough Money For Extra Life SEATTLE — Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos filed for bankruptcy earlier this week after amassing so much wealth that he appears to have earned an Extra…
August 30, 2019 YouTuber Can’t Use Ramen to Fix Hole in Relationship YouTuber Can’t Use Ramen to Fix Hole in Relationship LOS ANGELES — YouTuber and handyman David Patterson, otherwise known as SuperVGMan64, failed to fix the gaping hole in his relationship with his wife Maria…
August 29, 2019 Gamer Upgrades External Graphics Card Gamer Upgrades External Graphics Card ALLENTOWN, Pa. — Marveling at its pixel-perfect resolution and clearly superior image quality, noted gamer Jennifer Lotz reportedly told friends that she had finally upgraded…
August 29, 2019 Local Gamer Pretty Sure ‘Hard Drive’ Staff Following Him Around and Recording His Life Local Gamer Pretty Sure ‘Hard Drive’ Staff Following Him Around and Recording His Life ALBANY, N.Y. — After reading a handful of articles from video game website Hard Drive, local gamer and avid internet user Peter Bauer told friends…
August 27, 2019 Twitch Releases Mad-Libs Style Stock Apology for Popular Streamers Twitch Releases Mad-Libs Style Stock Apology for Popular Streamers SAN FRANCISCO — With aspirations to enter the mainstream and gain more lucrative advertisers, Twitch sent out a “fill in the blank” apology form to…
August 27, 2019 Proud Son Hangs Dad’s Meme on Fridge Proud Son Hangs Dad’s Meme on Fridge ALTOONA, Penn. — Jake Fitzgerald Jr. reportedly hung a printout of his father’s latest meme on the fridge this afternoon as a token of pride…
August 23, 2019 Newlyweds Exchange Phone Numbers Newlyweds Exchange Phone Numbers BETHPAGE, N.Y. — A couple of newlyweds, Marissa and Frank Carter, cemented their love for each other at their wedding today, concluding the marriage ceremony…
August 22, 2019 Remembering Nintendo’s Failed Power Sock Controller Remembering Nintendo’s Failed Power Sock Controller In the 1980s, Nintendo released several popular customized controllers for playing certain NES games, such as the Light Gun and the unforgettable R.O.B. But few…
