December 20, 2019 Tourists in Iceland Disappointed Skybox of Northern Lights Never Loaded Tourists in Iceland Disappointed Skybox of Northern Lights Never Loaded REYKJAVÍK, Iceland — Two Americans vacationing in Iceland faced a devastating letdown upon discovering the Northern Lights skybox failed to load during their trip. “The…
December 10, 2019 Tone Deaf Nintendo Ad Shows Woman Receiving Ring Fit for Christmas Tone Deaf Nintendo Ad Shows Woman Receiving Ring Fit for Christmas KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo has caused an uproar with a Christmas-themed advertisement that shows a seemingly annoyed woman receiving the fitness game Ring Fit Adventures…
November 29, 2019 Deal Alert: Aetna is Offering 15% Off Healthcare for Anyone Trampled on Black Friday Deal Alert: Aetna is Offering 15% Off Healthcare for Anyone Trampled on Black Friday Healthcare fans — we KNOW you’re still out there — this one’s for you! Aetna just announced that for Black Friday weekend, customers can get…
November 26, 2019 The Next ‘Dark Souls’? I Can’t Figure Out This Captcha The Next ‘Dark Souls’? I Can’t Figure Out This Captcha Move over Sekiro! If you’re looking for a new game that’s insanely difficult, I may have discovered the new Dark Souls: this stupid CAPTCHA that’s preventing…
November 25, 2019 Hundreds Bonded in Power of Friendship Reactor Meltdown Hundreds Bonded in Power of Friendship Reactor Meltdown SACRAMENTO, Calif. — A calibration error led to the devastating meltdown of a local Power of Friendship Reactor this morning that has brought nearby families…
November 23, 2019 dril Becomes Conservative Icon After Accidental Retweet From @realDonaldTrump dril Becomes Conservative Icon After Accidental Retweet From @realDonaldTrump WASHINGTON — Famed cursed twitter account @dril became a conservative icon this morning after being retweeted by President Donald Trump, in what experts say may…
November 12, 2019 Jeff Bezos Visited by Jeff Bezos From Dystopian Future With Urgent Message to Keep Doing What He’s Doing Jeff Bezos Visited by Jeff Bezos From Dystopian Future With Urgent Message to Keep Doing What He’s Doing SEATTLE — Billionaire Jeff Bezos reportedly came face to face with a time-travelling Jeff Bezos from a dystopian future this morning at Amazon headquarters, who…
November 8, 2019 Man Buys Expensive Gaming Chair to Sit in Like Degenerate Goblin Man Buys Expensive Gaming Chair to Sit in Like Degenerate Goblin TORRANCE, Calif. — Shortly after depositing his paycheck on Friday evening, local freelance artist David Gill excitedly ordered a brand new DXRacer gaming chair with…
November 6, 2019 Corruption of PS2 Memory Card Not Unlike Burning of the Library of Alexandria Corruption of PS2 Memory Card Not Unlike Burning of the Library of Alexandria AKRON, Ohio — Local gamer Scott Landis’s languish was felt throughout the apartment upon his discovery that his PlayStation 2 memory card from 2003 had…
