January 19, 2020 Game Critic Describes New Stapler as ‘Positively Oozing With Charm’ Game Critic Describes New Stapler as ‘Positively Oozing With Charm’ SAN FRANCISCO — IGN game critic Michael Sherman has reportedly cracked under the pressure of his job and issued a review of the stapler in…
January 17, 2020 Dirty Little Cuck Likes Watching Other People Play Video Games Dirty Little Cuck Likes Watching Other People Play Video Games HARTFORD, Conn. — Local deviant fetishist Jacob Hornstein has admitted that he finds sick pleasure in watching someone else play video games instead of playing…
January 16, 2020 Co-Worker Has Audacity to Bring IT Problem to IT Guy Co-Worker Has Audacity to Bring IT Problem to IT Guy OMAHA, Neb. — Local office worker Chris Thompson, an assistant copywriter at McDalton Consulting Co., allegedly crossed the line into misconduct last week by asking…
January 15, 2020 75% of Seniors Report Most Trusted Source of Information is Quotes Over Pictures of Sam Elliott 75% of Seniors Report Most Trusted Source of Information is Quotes Over Pictures of Sam Elliott WASHINGTON — Scientifically confirming a correlation that has been speculated for decades, a recent study by the Pew Research Center has revealed that a majority…
January 12, 2020 Elderly Man Kindly Rewinds YouTube Video to the Start So Next Viewer Doesn’t Have To Elderly Man Kindly Rewinds YouTube Video to the Start So Next Viewer Doesn’t Have To FRESNO, Calif. — Local caretaker Ellie Franklin reported yesterday afternoon that the elderly man she looks after, Jim Anderson, was seen rewinding through the YouTube…
January 9, 2020 YouTuber Deeply Regrets ‘Kill It With Fire’ Comment on Australian Spider Video YouTuber Deeply Regrets ‘Kill It With Fire’ Comment on Australian Spider Video YUMA, Ariz. — Jed Thompkins, also known as “Riseofthejedguy” on YouTube, is reportedly distraught over a comment he made on a 2017 video of a…
January 3, 2020 Experts Say VR Will Reach Its Full Potential Exactly Five Years After You Die Experts Say VR Will Reach Its Full Potential Exactly Five Years After You Die SAN JOSE, Calif. — At a recent Parkside Hall tech conference, several VR industry leaders announced that all hotly anticipated VR developments will occur eventually,…
December 25, 2019 Nation’s Little Cousins Launch Inquiry Into What Games You Got On Your Phone Nation’s Little Cousins Launch Inquiry Into What Games You Got On Your Phone SALT LAKE CITY — The collective little cousins of the United States announced a formal inquiry into what games you got on your phone, as…
December 24, 2019 Man Names Baby After Typo Made in Group Chat Man Names Baby After Typo Made in Group Chat CLOVIS, N.M. — In recognition of a typo made by a friend in a group chat, Kenny Boskins has named his firstborn son Sellular Dada…
YouTuber Deeply Regrets ‘Kill It With Fire’ Comment on Australian Spider Video
YUMA, Ariz. — Jed Thompkins, also known as “Riseofthejedguy” on YouTube, is reportedly distraught over a comment he made on a 2017 video of a…