May 12, 2020 Animal Crossing Themed Switch Controller Disappears in Puff of Smoke After 10 Uses Animal Crossing Themed Switch Controller Disappears in Puff of Smoke After 10 Uses SAN ANTONIO, Texas — After using his Animal Crossing themed Switch controller exactly 10 times, local gamer Jonathan Maislin was disappointed to watch it disappear…
May 10, 2020 Former Reddit Mod Successfully Re-Enters Society as Wikipedia Editor Former Reddit Mod Successfully Re-Enters Society as Wikipedia Editor PITTSBURGH — After many shameful years working in the underworld of Reddit moderation, local pedantic jerk Martin Thurn claims to have turned over a new…
May 7, 2020 Facebook Game Ad Actually Government Recruiting Device to Contract Earth’s Most Skilled Military Tacticians Facebook Game Ad Actually Government Recruiting Device to Contract Earth’s Most Skilled Military Tacticians WASHINGTON — Top government sources have revealed that the Facebook advertisement for a game called Douse The Goblin! is actually a military recruiting device to…
May 3, 2020 Opinion: 253 Views On My Video Doesn’t Sound Like a Lot, But If You Put Them All In a Room… Opinion: 253 Views On My Video Doesn’t Sound Like a Lot, But If You Put Them All In a Room… OK so my newest YouTube video essay Breath of the Wild and the Important of Open World Mechanics got 253 views and maybe that doesn’t…
April 27, 2020 Terrifying: This Writer Is Willing to Hate Any Movie for Just a Few Thousand Clicks Terrifying: This Writer Is Willing to Hate Any Movie for Just a Few Thousand Clicks Most writers like movies that are good and dislike movies that are bad, letting the internet decide who deserves the most clicks based entirely on…
April 24, 2020 Microsoft Adds Split-Screen Couch Co-Op to New Version of Excel Microsoft Adds Split-Screen Couch Co-Op to New Version of Excel REDMOND, Wash. — 33 years after the initial release of the spreadsheet program Excel, Microsoft has announced that they are adding couch co-op gameplay for…
April 22, 2020 Facebook Employee Wastes Whole Day on Facebook Again Facebook Employee Wastes Whole Day on Facebook Again MENLO PARK — With a wave of disappointment washing over himself for squandering another potentially productive day, an employee at Facebook headquarters was reportedly distraught…
April 19, 2020 Gaming Mouse Has More Buttons Than Keyboard Gaming Mouse Has More Buttons Than Keyboard FREMONT, Calif. — The new Corsair BM-4050990 mouse, made specifically for gamers and streamers, boasts 128 buttons, according to a new press release from the…
April 16, 2020 Opinion: You’re a Fucking Moron If You Really Believe the Xbox Series X Will Be Big Enough to Hold 6 Teraflops Opinion: You’re a Fucking Moron If You Really Believe the Xbox Series X Will Be Big Enough to Hold 6 Teraflops Don’t let yourself get suckered by all that fancy talk Microsoft is blowing up your ass. There’s just no way the Xbox Series X could…
