April 8, 2019 Super Smash Bros.-Inspired Microsoft Fighting Game Features Two-Character Roster Super Smash Bros.-Inspired Microsoft Fighting Game Features Two-Character Roster REDMOND, Wash. — Microsoft has revealed a new fighting game inspired by Nintendo’s successful Super Smash Bros. franchise, which will celebrate the Xbox’s rich history…
April 3, 2019 Dog Chewing on Xbox Elite Controller Can Taste the $90 Difference Dog Chewing on Xbox Elite Controller Can Taste the $90 Difference GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Butters, a five-year-old male Labrador Retriever, told reporters that he could taste the $90 difference between the Xbox Elite Controller and the…
October 2, 2018 Next Halo to Include Son to Take Care Of and Web Slinging Abilities Next Halo to Include Son to Take Care Of and Web Slinging Abilities REDMOND, Wash. — Microsoft shocked the world today by announcing that Halo Infinite, the upcoming entry in their flagship franchise will introduce new features to…
February 2, 2018 Microsoft Discontinues Kinect Citing Privacy Concerns They Overheard Microsoft Discontinues Kinect Citing Privacy Concerns They Overheard SEATTLE — Microsoft announced it would stop selling the Kinect after hearing negative customer feedback through the device complaining about the lack of privacy, according…
November 26, 2017 Man’s Gamertag Says Pretty Much All You Need to Know About Him Man’s Gamertag Says Pretty Much All You Need to Know About Him PITTSBURGH — Sources close to local gamer Bob Polin confirmed today that the 31-year-old lacks any defining traits or pursuits to the point that his…
November 7, 2017 Microsoft: Xbox One X is The Best Way to Never Get to Play The Last of Us Microsoft: Xbox One X is The Best Way to Never Get to Play The Last of Us REDMOND, Wash. — With the Xbox One X hitting stores today, gamers nationwide are lining up to find out if the system can indeed keep…
October 22, 2017 Xbox Live Community Proudly Announces New Slur Xbox Live Community Proudly Announces New Slur LONG BEACH, Calif. — The Xbox Live community announced the first of seventeen planned slurs this morning, after years of stagnated development. The new insult,…
August 4, 2017 TV Remote Batteries Called up to the Big Leagues TV Remote Batteries Called up to the Big Leagues ANAHEIM, Calif. — A promising pair of AA Bexels were promoted to work in an Xbox One controller after a successful several-month tenure powering a…
August 2, 2017 Cruel and Unusual: Prison Console for Inmates Only Has Mad Catz Controller Cruel and Unusual: Prison Console for Inmates Only Has Mad Catz Controller ALLENTOWN, Penn. — Alleghany County Jail admitted today, in a shocking revelation, that the XBOX it allows prisoners to spend their “positivity” token to play…
