April 7, 2020 Gamer Spices Up Resume With ‘Spends Hours Daily Solving Puzzles, Cooperating With Teammates, and Clearing Objectives’ Gamer Spices Up Resume With ‘Spends Hours Daily Solving Puzzles, Cooperating With Teammates, and Clearing Objectives’ SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local gamer Kayla Stephenson reportedly included various video game skills on a job resume in an attempt to look more professional. “As…
March 30, 2020 Larger Thug Feels Pressure to Take On Leadership Position Larger Thug Feels Pressure to Take On Leadership Position RIVER CITY— Local gangster Antonio Russo continues to work a low level thug position despite pressures from higher ranking goons to take on a boss…
March 16, 2020 Boss Catches Employee in Idle Animation for Fifth Time This Week Boss Catches Employee in Idle Animation for Fifth Time This Week KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Employees at a local marketing agency have confirmed that IT support technician Sye Monteleone was given his third and final written warning…
March 14, 2020 Woman Worried to Find Room Full of Ammo and Health Before Performance Review Woman Worried to Find Room Full of Ammo and Health Before Performance Review LANSING, Mich. — Due to her familiarity with the visual indicators that a major boss battle was about to unfold, junior accountant Megan Williams was…
January 16, 2020 Co-Worker Has Audacity to Bring IT Problem to IT Guy Co-Worker Has Audacity to Bring IT Problem to IT Guy OMAHA, Neb. — Local office worker Chris Thompson, an assistant copywriter at McDalton Consulting Co., allegedly crossed the line into misconduct last week by asking…
December 18, 2019 Office Worker Doesn’t Notice He’s in ‘Groundhog Day’ Time Loop For Two Whole Weeks Office Worker Doesn’t Notice He’s in ‘Groundhog Day’ Time Loop For Two Whole Weeks TAMPA, Fla. — Local data entry clerk Frank Richmond, 27, was reportedly released from a Groundhog Day-esque time loop, which he claims to have not…
June 7, 2019 PepsiCo Announces New Mountain Dew Keurig Pods for Working Gamers PepsiCo Announces New Mountain Dew Keurig Pods for Working Gamers PURCHASE, N.Y. — Mountain Dew has debuted a line of K-Cups in collaboration with Keurig to appeal to the previously unknown “Gamers Who Go To…
June 3, 2019 40-Year-Old Asthmatic IT Analyst Explains Exactly How He Would Take Down Active Shooter in the Office 40-Year-Old Asthmatic IT Analyst Explains Exactly How He Would Take Down Active Shooter in the Office ATLANTA — Dale Clarke, a middle-aged computer tech with early onset arthritis, went into explicit detail with his coworkers about how he would take down…
April 11, 2019 GameStop Employee Somehow Being Threatened, Patronized, and Hit On at Same Time GameStop Employee Somehow Being Threatened, Patronized, and Hit On at Same Time TEMPE, Ariz. — A female cashier at a Gamestop location recently reported being intimidated, condescended to, and flirted with by one single customer, an inexplicable…
