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Trump Criticized for Diverting Funding From Everybody Votes Channel to Check Mii OutTrump Criticized for Diverting Funding From Everybody Votes Channel to Check Mii Out

Trump Criticized for Diverting Funding From Everybody Votes Channel to Check Mii Out

WASHINGTON D.C. — President Donald Trump is facing criticism from Democratic leaders after announcing plans to divert funding from the…

5 years ago
End of an Era: Last Known Wii Sensor Bar Falls Off TVEnd of an Era: Last Known Wii Sensor Bar Falls Off TV

End of an Era: Last Known Wii Sensor Bar Falls Off TV

SPOKANE, Wash. — The last known Wii Sensor Bar tumbled off of its television and behind the cabinet early this…

6 years ago
Date Looks Nothing Like His MiiDate Looks Nothing Like His Mii

Date Looks Nothing Like His Mii

BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Exasperated by the fact that she’d been misled by yet another exaggerated profile picture, sources say that…

6 years ago
Purist Surgeon Refuses to Operate Surgery Robot With Anything but GameCube ControllerPurist Surgeon Refuses to Operate Surgery Robot With Anything but GameCube Controller

Purist Surgeon Refuses to Operate Surgery Robot With Anything but GameCube Controller

BOSTON — Explaining that newer controllers don’t quite provide the same comfort or familiarity, surgeon Dr. Frank Powell said this…

7 years ago
Shitty Game Console Looking Forward to Retro StatusShitty Game Console Looking Forward to Retro Status

Shitty Game Console Looking Forward to Retro Status

KYOTO, Japan — Executives at Nintendo are reportedly counting the days until their Wii U console, an underwhelming system released…

7 years ago
Here’s a Helpful Rundown of Dark Souls Lore for You Pathetic Nintendo CasualsHere’s a Helpful Rundown of Dark Souls Lore for You Pathetic Nintendo Casuals

Here’s Helpful Rundown of Dark Souls Lore for You Pathetic Nintendo Casuals

Dark Souls is coming out for the Nintendo Switch despite the fact Nintendo consoles are only for children. I would…

7 years ago
Mario Sent into Existential Crisis After Losing Go-Kart Race to Baby Version of SelfMario Sent into Existential Crisis After Losing Go-Kart Race to Baby Version of Self

Mario Sent into Existential Crisis After Losing Go-Kart Race to Baby Version of Self

MUSHROOM KINGDOM — Following the first race of this year's 150cc Star Cup, Mario was sent into an existential crisis,…

7 years ago
Nintendo Gearing up for Holiday Season by Destroying Any Remaining StockNintendo Gearing up for Holiday Season by Destroying Any Remaining Stock

Nintendo Gearing up for Holiday Season by Destroying Any Remaining Stock

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo is preparing for the upcoming holiday season by making sure every remaining game and console are destroyed,…

8 years ago
Nintendo Announces Two-Cans-and-a-String Multiplayer SystemNintendo Announces Two-Cans-and-a-String Multiplayer System

Nintendo Announces Two-Cans-and-a-String Multiplayer System

KYOTO, Japan — Nintendo announced today the Nintendo String, their new voice-chat product for multiplayer games. The String, a new…

8 years ago