water

Nestlé Files Lawsuit Claiming Moon Has No Legal Right to Water

ARLINGTON, Va. — Nestlé USA announced a lawsuit against the round astronomical body orbiting Earth, claiming the mass has no…

4 years ago

Olimar Insists Red Pikmin are “Virtually Immune” to Drowning

PNF-404 — Captain Olimar insisted to a group of red Pikmin today that they need not worry while trying to…

4 years ago

Food and Water Now Exclusive to Epic Games Store

CARY, N.C. — Building on their catalogue of exclusive video games, the Epic Games store announced a multi-billion dollar deal…

4 years ago

Circus Level Inexplicably Pulling Double Duty as Water Level

PHOENIX — Local resident Shauna Johnson was playing the newest hit indie platformer when she made a shocking discovery: a…

6 years ago

Water in Shitty New Game Looks Beautiful

AUSTIN — Early reviews are indicating that “Adventures of Slappy,” a newly released action/adventure game, has horrible controls, ugly characters,…

7 years ago

Climate Scientists Warn That All Super Mario Levels Will Be Underwater by 2025

PARIS — Top climate scientists released a new peer-reviewed research paper today, which warns that all Super Mario stages will…

7 years ago