water

Nestlé Files Lawsuit Claiming Moon Has No Legal Right to WaterNestlé Files Lawsuit Claiming Moon Has No Legal Right to Water

Nestlé Files Lawsuit Claiming Moon Has No Legal Right to Water

ARLINGTON, Va. — Nestlé USA announced a lawsuit against the round astronomical body orbiting Earth, claiming the mass has no…

4 years ago
Olimar Insists Red Pikmin are “Virtually Immune” to DrowningOlimar Insists Red Pikmin are “Virtually Immune” to Drowning

Olimar Insists Red Pikmin are “Virtually Immune” to Drowning

PNF-404 — Captain Olimar insisted to a group of red Pikmin today that they need not worry while trying to…

5 years ago
Food and Water Now Exclusive to Epic Games StoreFood and Water Now Exclusive to Epic Games Store

Food and Water Now Exclusive to Epic Games Store

CARY, N.C. — Building on their catalogue of exclusive video games, the Epic Games store announced a multi-billion dollar deal…

5 years ago
Circus Level Inexplicably Pulling Double Duty as Water LevelCircus Level Inexplicably Pulling Double Duty as Water Level

Circus Level Inexplicably Pulling Double Duty as Water Level

PHOENIX — Local resident Shauna Johnson was playing the newest hit indie platformer when she made a shocking discovery: a…

6 years ago
Water in Shitty New Game Looks BeautifulWater in Shitty New Game Looks Beautiful

Water in Shitty New Game Looks Beautiful

AUSTIN — Early reviews are indicating that “Adventures of Slappy,” a newly released action/adventure game, has horrible controls, ugly characters,…

7 years ago
Climate Scientists Warn That All Super Mario Levels Will Be Underwater by 2025Climate Scientists Warn That All Super Mario Levels Will Be Underwater by 2025

Climate Scientists Warn That All Super Mario Levels Will Be Underwater by 2025

PARIS — Top climate scientists released a new peer-reviewed research paper today, which warns that all Super Mario stages will…

8 years ago