November 23, 2019 dril Becomes Conservative Icon After Accidental Retweet From @realDonaldTrump dril Becomes Conservative Icon After Accidental Retweet From @realDonaldTrump WASHINGTON — Famed cursed twitter account @dril became a conservative icon this morning after being retweeted by President Donald Trump, in what experts say may…
July 3, 2019 Report: White House Aides Did Not Brief Trump About Banjo-Kazooie for Smash Report: White House Aides Did Not Brief Trump About Banjo-Kazooie for Smash WASHINGTON — A White House staffer confirmed earlier this week that President Trump had not yet been briefed about Nintendo’s announcement that it would be…
April 19, 2019 Robert Mueller Offering Unredacted Report to His Patreon Subscribers Robert Mueller Offering Unredacted Report to His Patreon Subscribers WASHINGTON — FBI Director Robert Mueller has announced that an unredacted report on potential Russian interference in the 2016 Presidential election will soon be available…
March 25, 2019 Mueller Report Post-Credits Scene EXPLAINED Mueller Report Post-Credits Scene EXPLAINED Coming off of a blockbuster opening weekend, The Mueller Report continues to dominate the conversation on social media and around water coolers nationwide. Now that…
March 7, 2019 Civilization VI Player Weighing Foreign Policy Decisions More Heavily Than Actual Leader of United States Civilization VI Player Weighing Foreign Policy Decisions More Heavily Than Actual Leader of United States PHILADELPHIA – Local gamer Jamie Stanfield was shocked when she realized 11 months into a marathon-speed playthrough of Civilization VI that she was spending more…
February 27, 2019 Cohen Reveals Trump Gave Order to Cut Melee From EVO Cohen Reveals Trump Gave Order to Cut Melee From EVO WASHINGTON — While testifying in front of the House Oversight Committee, President Trump’s former attorney Michael Cohen revealed that it was Trump himself who issued…
February 21, 2019 Opinion: My Squad Won in Apex Legends. Here’s Why I Refuse to Go to the White House Opinion: My Squad Won in Apex Legends. Here’s Why I Refuse to Go to the White House After days of practice and preparation, my teammates finally reached the mountaintop and got our first squad win. However, because I disagree with the politics…
February 6, 2019 Trump Drops Surprise Announcement of New 325 Million-Player Battle Royale Trump Drops Surprise Announcement of New 325 Million-Player Battle Royale WASHINGTON — President Trump shocked the nation today when he unveiled a new plan which pits 325 million Americans in an all-out fight to the…
February 5, 2019 Republicans Try to Appeal to Younger Voters by Releasing State of the Union on YouTube Republicans Try to Appeal to Younger Voters by Releasing State of the Union on YouTube WASHINGTON — Republican strategists have announced they will upload the entirety of Donald Trump’s State of the Union address onto YouTube under the title NATIONAL…
