tony hawk

Tony Hawk Controversially Wins Tournament After Being Allowed Two Dozen Restarts

MIAMI — Professional skateboarder Tony Hawk surprised the skateboarding community after winning a tournament by successfully convincing the judges to…

4 years ago

All Cops Are Bastards Even If They Can Collect All Five COMBO Letters While Scoring 12,376,400 Points

Alright, listen up. I’ve heard of you bootlicking posers that have been asking if this or that person is excused…

4 years ago

Beto O’Rourke Skateboarding Game Has You Collect Letters P-O-L-I-T-I-C-A-L-C-O-W-A-R-D

EL PASO, Texas — Former United States representative Beto O’Rourke announced a new skateboarding video game that lets players collect…

4 years ago

Incredibly Realistic ‘Skate 4’ Makes Players Ration Little Cup of Salsa for Entire Burrito

LOS ANGELES — Anticipation for the fourth installment of EA’s popular Skate franchise has heightened after the company promised the…

4 years ago

New Bike Game Lets You Do Bike Shit

SAN FRANCISCO — An extended preview of an upcoming independent title centered around BMX racing has revealed that it will…

5 years ago

Lonely Tony Hawk Swears He Landed 20,000

ENCINITAS, Calif. — Professional skateboarder Tony Hawk has reportedly been telling friends and fans that he landed a “20,000,” a…

5 years ago

Activision: ‘Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3’ Remake Not Coming Until Consoles Can Render Bam Margera In Full Detail

SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Promising that they would release a definitive version of the 2001 classic as soon as modern…

5 years ago

Aging Man Starting to Think His Girlfriend is Never Going to Notice Hidden Proposal in Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3

NILES, Mich. —  Almost 20 years after convincing Neversoft to include a hidden easter egg in it’s flagship franchise, local…

6 years ago

Final Warped Tour to End With Guy on Stage Holding Phone Playing ‘Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2’ Soundtrack on YouTube

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. — The storied Vans Warped Tour is set to end their final show by having some…

6 years ago