THPS

Tony Hawk Controversially Wins Tournament After Being Allowed Two Dozen Restarts

MIAMI — Professional skateboarder Tony Hawk surprised the skateboarding community after winning a tournament by successfully convincing the judges to…

4 years ago

All Cops Are Bastards Even If They Can Collect All Five COMBO Letters While Scoring 12,376,400 Points

Alright, listen up. I’ve heard of you bootlicking posers that have been asking if this or that person is excused…

4 years ago

Beto O’Rourke Skateboarding Game Has You Collect Letters P-O-L-I-T-I-C-A-L-C-O-W-A-R-D

EL PASO, Texas — Former United States representative Beto O’Rourke announced a new skateboarding video game that lets players collect…

4 years ago

Betsy DeVos Calls for Public Schools to Be Defunded After Witnessing Rodney Mullen Do 360 Kickflip Through Gymnasium Roof

SCHOOL II — U.S. Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos demanded funding cuts after witnessing a professional skateboarder do a 360…

4 years ago

Incredibly Realistic ‘Skate 4’ Makes Players Ration Little Cup of Salsa for Entire Burrito

LOS ANGELES — Anticipation for the fourth installment of EA’s popular Skate franchise has heightened after the company promised the…

4 years ago

Local Gamer’s Closest Black Friend Still Kareem Campbell

PORTLAND, Maine — Local gamer Seth Barker’s only black friend is reportedly the Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2 avatar of…

5 years ago

New Bike Game Lets You Do Bike Shit

SAN FRANCISCO — An extended preview of an upcoming independent title centered around BMX racing has revealed that it will…

5 years ago

Lonely Tony Hawk Swears He Landed 20,000

ENCINITAS, Calif. — Professional skateboarder Tony Hawk has reportedly been telling friends and fans that he landed a “20,000,” a…

5 years ago

Aging Man Starting to Think His Girlfriend is Never Going to Notice Hidden Proposal in Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3

NILES, Mich. —  Almost 20 years after convincing Neversoft to include a hidden easter egg in it’s flagship franchise, local…

6 years ago