October 8, 2020 Tony Hawk Controversially Wins Tournament After Being Allowed Two Dozen Restarts Tony Hawk Controversially Wins Tournament After Being Allowed Two Dozen Restarts MIAMI — Professional skateboarder Tony Hawk surprised the skateboarding community after winning a tournament by successfully convincing the judges to let him start over consequence-free…
October 6, 2020 All Cops Are Bastards Even If They Can Collect All Five COMBO Letters While Scoring 12,376,400 Points All Cops Are Bastards Even If They Can Collect All Five COMBO Letters While Scoring 12,376,400 Points Alright, listen up. I’ve heard of you bootlicking posers that have been asking if this or that person is excused from the rule that all…
October 1, 2020 Beto O’Rourke Skateboarding Game Has You Collect Letters P-O-L-I-T-I-C-A-L-C-O-W-A-R-D Beto O’Rourke Skateboarding Game Has You Collect Letters P-O-L-I-T-I-C-A-L-C-O-W-A-R-D EL PASO, Texas — Former United States representative Beto O’Rourke announced a new skateboarding video game that lets players collect the letters to spell out…
September 28, 2020 Betsy DeVos Calls for Public Schools to Be Defunded After Witnessing Rodney Mullen Do a 360 Kickflip Through Gymnasium Roof Betsy DeVos Calls for Public Schools to Be Defunded After Witnessing Rodney Mullen Do a 360 Kickflip Through Gymnasium Roof SCHOOL II — U.S. Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos demanded funding cuts after witnessing a professional skateboarder do a 360 kickflip into a high school…
July 13, 2020 Incredibly Realistic ‘Skate 4’ Makes Players Ration Little Cup of Salsa for Entire Burrito Incredibly Realistic ‘Skate 4’ Makes Players Ration Little Cup of Salsa for Entire Burrito LOS ANGELES — Anticipation for the fourth installment of EA’s popular Skate franchise has heightened after the company promised the game would have even more…
June 8, 2020 Local Gamer’s Closest Black Friend Still Kareem Campbell Local Gamer’s Closest Black Friend Still Kareem Campbell PORTLAND, Maine — Local gamer Seth Barker’s only black friend is reportedly the Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2 avatar of professional skateboarder Kareem Campbell, according…
May 30, 2020 New Bike Game Lets You Do Bike Shit New Bike Game Lets You Do Bike Shit SAN FRANCISCO — An extended preview of an upcoming independent title centered around BMX racing has revealed that it will let you do all kinds…
May 20, 2020 Lonely Tony Hawk Swears He Landed a 20,000 Lonely Tony Hawk Swears He Landed a 20,000 ENCINITAS, Calif. — Professional skateboarder Tony Hawk has reportedly been telling friends and fans that he landed a “20,000,” a physically impossible trick where one…
December 16, 2018 Aging Man Starting to Think His Girlfriend is Never Going to Notice Hidden Proposal in Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3 Aging Man Starting to Think His Girlfriend is Never Going to Notice Hidden Proposal in Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3 NILES, Mich. — Almost 20 years after convincing Neversoft to include a hidden easter egg in it’s flagship franchise, local gamer Pete Huss is starting…
